


let your colors bleed and blend with mine

by skyblxssom



Category: Gintama
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drabble Collection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, actual Hurting of one perm head, casual fourth wall breaking cause that's Gintama's Thing, cause my mind can only work in those two spectrum, in this household we love and support a thorny, this is going to be a collection of fluff and hurt/comfort, two dumb grown ass men trying to be romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-01-16 15:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblxssom/pseuds/skyblxssom
Summary: A drabble collection depicting the bond shared between two similar souls





	1. Ruffle

**Author's Note:**

> **Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata couldn't resist when given the opportunity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! So this is just gonna be my drabble dump for all things related to this ship because I've fallen fast and hard so I'm letting my soul be consumed

If Hijikata had to choose, he’d say that patrolling during the day was better than night patrol. Sure, there were more people out and about, mixing with the Amanto that still carried a haughtiness to them, like humans were lower than the dirt beneath their feet. But it was infinitely better than the stillness of night, where it was easier for enemies to hide in the darkness, waiting for the opportune time to take the Shinsengumi.

Not to mention, he didn’t have to deal with drunks. Daytime intoxication was quite rare as most bars remained close. Hijikata still had a duty to ensure that the people were safe, including from their own drunken ass. After having intimately felt the sensation of someone else’s sick all over him without having the legality to cut them in half for it, Hijikata could firmly say that he preferred daytime patrol. 

He had separated from Sougo earlier (though it was more like the brat wandering off after having lost interest with him post bazooka failure) so he casually walked down one of Edo’s roads, his gaze sweeping the surrounding for any oddities worth checking out on. If he was lucky, he might come across that slippery bastard Katsura. For being one of the most wanted men in Edo, he tended to pop up in the most surprising and open of places. 

Hijikata exhaled a puff of smoke as he walked deeper into the heart of Edo. An hour into his patrol and aside from helping an old man with directions, there had been no trouble that required his blade to solve with. It was a bit dull but Hijikata could handle it. At least this meant no property damage, thus less paperwork for him to deal with once he returned to his office. 

His patrol eventually brought him to one of the rivers flowing through the city. This one still retained some of its natural beauty; it was lined by grassy slopes that made it a perfect perch for people who wanted to fish-- or nap at, apparently.

Blue eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of a familiar mop of silver hair. Hijikata’s feet moved on their own as he approached the samurai napping without a care in the world on the slope. When he was standing a few feet away, it was easier to observe the other man.

Gintoki laid on his side, using one arm as a makeshift pillow. Hijikata could spot the way his chest rose up and down evenly, indicating deep sleep. His bokken remained close to his side so he wasn’t completely defensely.

Hijikata found himself sitting next to Gintoki after a minute of quiet staring. Puffing out another smoke cloud, he took in the rare peaceful look on his features. Those deadened fish eyes were hidden, brows loosening in a way that only sleep could achieve. His lips, so often pulled back in some sort of sneer, remained slightly parted with the soft snores. With this kind of expression, his unruly perm somehow added an endearing charm to it. 

Suddenly overcome by a fondness that he couldn’t quite place, Hijikata’s hand lightly landed atop that mess of hair. Fingers slowly carded through the silver tresses, feeling just as soft as he remembered. Gintoki always made a fuss whenever he did this but Hijikata knew that it was just for show. 

If Gintoki really hated it, he wouldn’t have let him get away with it after the fifth time Hijikata ruffled his hair just because he felt like it. 

Hijikata idly played with it for awhile longer before he stood up. It was surprising that Gintoki remained asleep throughout it all. Perhaps he really was tired that a nap outside could be this deep. Was it from a job or... did he have a nightmare last night?

Hmm, maybe Hijikata should make a visit to the Yorozuya after work ended for the day. It had been quite some time since he last stepped foot in the place. Hijikata would definitely have to bring some food to appease that black hole of a girl and her perm headed guardian.

Still, the idea of relaxing with his partner afterwards didn’t sound half bad. Hijikata could care less on how that would end up so long as he got to enjoy the side of Gintoki that he only showed to him. 

Now motivated, Hijikata cast one last look at the sleeping figure, lit a new cigarette before he returned back to his patrol. Had his gaze remained for a few seconds longer, he might have seen one red eye cracking open or the rosy blush that dusted Gintoki’s cheeks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just me self indulging cause I wanna ruffle Gin's hair so badly sobs


	2. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big Gin meets Little Gin-- wait, that sounded wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly i didn't know how this idea came to be but i hope it's still enjoyable!

Gintoki found himself wondering what kind of fresh hell this was-- what brand of insanity that the universe decided to throw at its favorite chew-toy of a protagonist this time around. He wasn’t out on any grand adventure to overthrow the government (that was Zura’s thing, and he refused to be associated with that wig) or anything of that sort. Gintoki wasn’t even outdoors, period.

He was just minding his own business, enjoying a nice carton of strawberry milk and rereading last week’s issue of Jump. Gintoki lowered his manga just enough to pick at his nose when he noticed something.

His eyes went to this particularly enthralling chapter of Hunger x Hunger, then to the thing. A scene where Leonardo punched the shit out of Gong’s father, then another glance. A badass boast, but the thing was still there. Silently staring at him.

Gintoki felt cold sweat forming at the back of his neck as he put down his manga. The samurai slowly got to his feet, rounding the table till he was face to face with this anomaly. Cause that was what this was. An anomaly. A blip in the matrix. A shred of existence that shouldn’t be here.

Like? He was pretty sure this silver haired, red eyed brat was him. A little Gin-chan. Wait, mini Gin. Er, Gintoki Jr-- no, Gin-brat.

Yes, Gintoki thought with fervent nods. Gin-brat is good and safe and didn't carry some _very_ not PTA friendly implications. Once the moment passed, he stared down at Gin-brat, who remained oddly silent throughout his brief internal crisis. Somehow this annoyed him.

"Oi oi, haven't we used the time travel plot in the second movie?" He questioned aloud, hands on his hips. "I did not went through all the trouble of fixing the world I fucked up just to be dirtied by a rehashed plot! Gin-san deserves better!"

"Who are you old man?" Gin-brat finally spoke up, those eyes of him narrowing. That comment earned him a knock on the head. "Oww! What was that for!?" The kid cradled his head, pained tears pooling at the edges of his eyes.

"First of all, learn to respect your elders brat. This is silver, not grey! Gin-san is still in his prime!" Gintoki huffed, crossing his arms. "Secondly, why are you here? _How_ are you here?"

"Why are _you_ here?" Gin-brat countered, glaring daggers at his older counterpart. "Between an adult and an innocent kid, you're the suspicious one old man." That chubby face scrunched up in disgust. "Are you one of those men who kidnaps little children to have his way with them?"

Gintoki felt his eyebrow twitch. Had he always been such a little shit? How could that perm hold so much bastard in it already?

“Even if I was, I wouldn’t bother kidnapping a brat like you. Too much trouble with little profit involved.” Gintoki realized he implicated himself as being cheap and troublesome. Not to mention, he was insulting himself in a sense. Damn, this was why he hated time travel plots. Too confusing to keep track in his mind.

If anything, Gin-brat looked even more disgusted. “So you _do_ have experience in kidnapping kids. I’ll let you know if you try anything funny with me, I’ll bite your **** off.”

Gintoki mirrored his expression. “Eugh, I don’t even want to begin on how wrong that is on so many levels. Listen up Gin-brat, I don’t know how or why but you’re in the presence of your future self. I’m you in about--” His hand waved above the kid’s head, ignoring how he tensed up in favor of comparing it with his own perm. “--twenty years into the future, give or take a few months. Or years. Who the fuck cares cause _why are you here_.”

Gin-brat had the audacity to snort, crossing his own thin arms. “You’re me in the future? Please, I’m not going to grow up and become a stupid looking kidnapper like you.”

“Oi brat, you’re insulting your own looks! I’ll have you know that Gin-san is so breathtakingly handsome that he can hardly keep the admirers away!” He only had one stalker who still couldn’t accept his choice but he could get away with the embellishments.

Another snort. “You still looked stupid. Let’s say that if I even try to believe the words of a loser kidnapper…” Gintoki felt something shrivel up a little at the suddenly intense look. “... what did you mean earlier? Fixing a world that you ****** up? Are you saying that you-- or _I_ am going to mess up so badly that it spells the end of the world?”

Hmm, this was not a discussion that he wanted to have with his supposed younger self. The laws of the universe might screw him over even more than what he went through. Perhaps his thoughts seeped into his expression because Gin-brat partially lost his tough front to look at him with a bit of uncertainty.

“Hey, what’ll happen exactly?”

Gintoki remained quiet for a moment longer before he suddenly crouched, ruffling Gin-brat’s hair. The suddenness of his action elicited a yelp from the kid, who tried to push away the bigger hand. “Stop that you stupid kidnapper!”

“Look, I can’t say a lot without messing up some universal rule or whatever timey-wimey shit we're probably knee deep in. I'm surprised I didn't tear a hole in the fabrics of time when I touched you." Ugh, words. Why must it be so easy to carry double meanings? "I don’t want to screw-- _mess_ up for the both of us, alright brat?” Gintoki began, leveling Gin-brat a firm yet soft look. “All I can say is that you’re going to face a lot of hardships. It’s going to be tough, and there’s going to be moments where it feels like it’ll be easier to just give up but just remember this.”

He gently tapped Gin-brat’s chest with his fist. “Stick with your bushido, and protect what’s important to you. That’ll be your greatest strength.”

Gin-brat remained silent, brows furrowing slightly. “Protect what’s important to me?”

“Yup. You’re going to be in for a real ride, meeting a lot of people-- allies, enemies and everything in between.” A wrinkled face with the permanent stink of smoke. A pair of floating, nagging glasses. A cheeky, sukonbu wedged grin. That stupid V-shaped bangs framing eyes that gazed at him with more tenderness than he deserved. “You’ll know when you meet those people that you want to protect, trust me on that.”

The kid still looked a little unconvinced. “Really?”

“Trust the wisdom of your future self, brat.” Gintoki paused, seemingly considering on something. “But… I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to say that even thorny bastards have their sweet side.” He nodded sagely. “You just have to stomach through their ungodly obsession with dog shit and be patient with their emotionally constipated tsundere ass cause only then you can get a piece of that a--”

Gintoki suddenly found his face stuck to a hard surface, pain blossoming at the back of his head. He instinctively cradled the growing bump as he snapped up, dimly aware of the trail of drool leaking from his lips. Standing in front of his desk was an annoyed looking Hijikata dressed in his off day clothes.

“Oi, what the fuck was that for?” Gintoki complained, feeling an odd sense of karmic retribution for a sin he committed. Hijikata lowered his fist, then tucked his hands within the sleeves.

“You told me to come over on my day off, and then I find your lazy ass napping in the middle of the day.”

“Did that warrant domestic abuse, Oogushi-kun? What did I do to deserve this treatment?”

“By being a lazy perm headed bastard.” Gintoki thought that he heard him mumble something along the lines of how he _wasn’t_ a tsundere but it was too faint to make out properly. Still, he flashed a cheeky grin at his partner, knowing that it will be his win with his next words.

“But I’m _your_ lazy perm headed bastard, my cute little tax-thief.” A bit cheesy in his opinion but effective, judging by the way Hijikata bit down on his cigarette, a deliciously faint blush covering his pale cheeks.

“Like you make enough to even pay your taxes, sweet freak.”

“I’ll have you know that Gin-san is an upstanding citizen, worthy of being a role model! This is slander on my credibility, I tell you!”

“I don’t know how you’re able to say that with a straight face, you shameless perm.”

“Oh?" Gintoki waggled his eyebrow. "If you want to see shameless, I can show you _shameless_ mayo head~"

"Tch, horny bastard." Hijikata turned around but Gintoki easily saw how red the tips of his ears became. He quietly chuckled. Hijikata was so fun to tease! "At least after we get something to eat. I'm not having you ruin the mood again cause your stomach decided to make an appearance."

This time, Gintoki felt mild embarrassment rush through him, his own cheeks flushing slightly. He snapped to his feet so he could join Hijikata. "Oi, it wasn't my fault that I was hungry when your appetite for Gintoki Jr--" It was an odd combination of deja vu and some mystical disgust, but he was too caught up in his current feelings to care. "--was so ravenous that I didn't get a chance to eat beforehand!"

"Maybe you should start this little thing called _working_. It'll probably help you in actually having money for food."

"Ouch, as much as your sarcasm wound me, it won't help fill my stomach."

"In other words, you want to mooch off of me."

"Like I said, I can show you shameless Hijikata-kun~"

Their banter continued even after they left the premises, all the way to their favorite cafe to enjoy lunch together. Even with how much they argued, a warm feeling settled in Gintoki's chest.

This was where his choices led him in life, and he wouldn't change it for anything else.

* * *

Alternative scene:

"Who are you old man?" Gin-brat finally spoke up, those eyes of him narrowing. That comment earned him a knock on the head. "Oww! What was that for!?" The kid cradled his head, pained tears pooling at the edges of his eyes.

"First of all, learn to respect your elders brat. This is silver, not grey! Gin-san is still in his prime!" Gintoki huffed, initially crossing his arms before another thought crossed his mind. His lips slowly stretched into a wide smile. Gin-brat instinctively took a step back, eyeing the suspicious adult warily. That smile looked creepy. 

When else would he get this kind of opportunity? This exact moment where two versions of Sakata Gintoki somehow existed in the same timeline? Learning more about this subject from Shipachi was finally paying off!

"Who am I, you ask?" Gintoki had an air of... _something_ about him. "Well young grasshopper, I'm you but cooler, badass and--" Here, he whipped his right hand forward, brandishing the ring on his finger. It was a simple silver band with an engraving of their vow on the inside. "--married!"

Gin-brat slowly blinked at him. "What."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That alternative scene was just pure self indulgence fkjfdgj I'm slowly learning how to write their banter and insults. Slowly getting there. 
> 
> \- insert shameless plug - Also, if you want to ever talk about this ship or Gintama in general, you can contact me over at my Tumblr! 
> 
> ( [skyblxssom](https://skyblxssom.tumblr.com/) )


	3. Palm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quiet time underneath the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I don't usually do updates this fast I'm just Stressed from college and my outlet came in the form of dumb samurai being grossly cute

Under a sky of perfect midnight velvet, under stars that cut so brilliantly through the darkened satin they drew the eyes heaven bound, two men sat on the crest of a grassy hill. It was a toss-up on which sight made for a rarer scene; the clarity of the stars even with Edo’s light pollution or the boss of Yorozuya and the Demon Vice Chief of the Shinsengumi sitting so close together that their knees touched. Stranger still was the fact that they were holding hands, specifically Hijikata holding Gintoki’s.

A splendid night where their paths converged by the bridge, neither too tired or too drunk that warranted a quick return home. Still, weariness clung to both men like dead weight on their shoulders, sparking a sort of yearning for the warmth of a loved one. That feeling drew them together, fingers quietly intertwining without another word. 

This was fine. This part of Edo was devoid of people that they might as well claim the night for themselves. Away from the public’s eye, Gintoki and Hijikata didn’t need to act like they were expected to. Sure, the banter and arguments ensured that this bond that they shared would never go stale, but this kind of quietude was welcomed as well. 

Hijikata’s thumb idly traced random patterns atop of Gintoki’s hand, the other hand occupied by a half smoked cigarette. His eyes remained planted at the sky; it was easier to perform this kind of gestures without looking at his expression. This sort of lazy intimacy that felt fragile yet lined with steel. Hijikata still found it hard to wrap his mind around that he was  _ able _ to do this.

Gintoki had remained strangely quiet, and if it wasn’t for the occasional hums, Hijikata might have thought that he had dozed off. A war veteran knew how to sleep upright, and he had seen Gintoki softly snoring while he leaned against a wall, his knees curled up as he wrapped his arms around his bokken like a dangerous teddy bear. 

This rare sort of peace and silence that settled between them could have lasted the entire night for all Hijikata cared, but eventually Gintoki broke it.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” His tone was soft, almost whispery in nature.

Hijikata watched the stars, remembered the same sight when he left without looking back and slept underneath the night sky, then nodded his agreement. “Yes, it is.”

The light chuckle drew his attention a few seconds before the hand on his cheek did. Hijikata felt his heart race just a little, remaining pliant when Gintoki gently guided him till they were face to face. 

It was difficult to tell whether the twinkle that Hijikata saw was from the light of their surroundings or the spark within Gintoki. Those red eyes of his looked well and truly  _ alive _ right now. His lips was neither a grin or a sneer; they were set in a smile so tender that it physically made Hijikata tight chested for a moment. 

“No, you tax thief.” The usual insult sounded endearing, adding to the surreal wonder of this moment. Gintoki’s thumb slid in gentle movements underneath his eye. “I meant you.”

Hijikata remained quiet at that admission. If it wasn’t for the warmth that slowly flooded his cheeks, Gintoki might have worried that he crossed a line somewhere. They never fully defined the dos and don’ts in this relationship, cause their bond wasn’t so petty as to be chained down by rules. Sure, that had cause a few bumps in the road, but it wouldn’t have been as fulfilling as it is if everything was easy. That just wasn’t their style. 

“That was sappy as fuck, perm head,” Hijikata finally answered, sounding a little breathy. Gintoki would have continued to tease him had his partner not chose that moment to effectively strike his heart. The sweet caress morphed into something sweeter when Hijikata turned his head to press a kiss on the center of his palm. 

Gintoki could feel those soft lips and the warm breath puffing against his skin. A light shiver trailed down his spine while his own cheeks rebelled at this surprising attack. 

They honestly looked ridiculous. Two grown men sitting close together, with one having his cheek pressed against the other’s hand whilst sporting matching blushes. It was a good thing that they were alone right now. They might have unfairly snapped at anyone who stumbled across this moment out of sheer embarrassment. 

Gintoki huffed, looking away. His hand still remained where it was. “And who’s being sappy now, mayo breath?”

Another beat of silence, and then Gintoki felt that kiss again. He nibbled at his bottom lip, feeling the flush spread till the tips of his ears, wondering just how quickly the tables had turned. Still, it didn’t feel too bad to lose. They were still sitting together, enjoying the stars and each other’s company even after they pulled apart, returning to the hand holding silence of before. That will always be a win in his book. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted soft and exploring descriptions, thus this piece was born. i was quiet happy with it tbh! i still have a few ideas I wanna do, but I'd also love to hear if you have any prompt suggestions! i'll do either fluff or h/c cause that's the only settings my monkey brain has ahhhh
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed thus far! I truly appreciate it!


	4. Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Hijikata forgot that Sakata Gintoki was once known as the Shiroyasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been feeling ill for a few days now, and since I didn't have the mental fortitude to tackle academic writing, I decided to pour what energy that I did have into creative writing. Between fluff and h/c, since TheSimplestOfAllSocks had expressed an interest to see something h/c, I decided to roll with it! Instead of hurting Gin physically or emotionally, my brain went 'both? how about both' thus splitting this piece into two parts haha!
> 
> Inspiration for writing this came from this [soundtrack!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYX3jRbNZh8/) It certainly helped build the mood for me at least!
> 
> For the life of me, I can't write a decent fight scene (warnings for violence and blood ahead!) but I hope this will still be a good read!

Sometimes Hijikata forgot that Sakata Gintoki was once known as the Shiroyasha.

One of the big Joui patriots whose moniker evoked fear among allies and enemies alike. The reports spoke of a man donned in white, slicing through the battlefield like a demon unleashed from the pits of hell. A beast so ferocious that he managed to carve a name for himself in a war that claimed numerous lives. He could have just been another candle of life snuffed out, but his flame never died out so his legend lives on.

Despite having seen his battle prowess in action numerous times, Hijikata couldn’t really wrap his mind around this connection. Sure, it was damn impressive that he could take down foes with just a wooden sword but in the end, he fought with a desire to protect. Hijikata could respect that.

But during a raid gone wrong, where the Yorozuya accidentally got mixed up because of course they always find away to wriggle their way into Shinsengumi business, Hijikata could finally see why the Shiroyasha’s name carried the same weight as the Shinigami’s.

China and Glasses were holding themselves rather well in battle, but then one of the rebels managed to slip past and the next thing he realized, Glasses was on the ground, his weapon felled by his side. It seemed that the kid got sliced in the upper arm but with his light colored hakama, the entire sleeve was quickly drenched in a mix of his blood and the splattering of his enemies.

And like toppling dominoes, China too was struck in her haste to get to Glasses, a different man getting a lucky hit in her moment of distraction. Her cry of pain wasn’t that loud but Gintoki always had sharp ears when it came to his kids. Sougo had helped cover for them as they regained their footing but the deed was done.

What happened after that would become one of the most talked about topic within the Shinsengumi barracks for the coming weeks, spoken in hushed whispers from those who witnessed the lazy, sweets loving Yorozuya boss morphed into the rumored Shiroyasha.

Hijikata vividly remembered the absolutely murderous look that flitted across his expression, seconds before he whirled around to go on a _rampage._

This time, all traces of the protective edge to his fight was gone, replaced by a single minded desire to mow down every enemy within sight. With every slice, guttural screams escaped blood stained lips, a raw and terrible sound among the absolute chaos of shouts and metal clashing against metal. Along the way, a real blade occupied his other hand, and he wielded them both with equal grace, if you could call slicing human flesh in half as that.

Hijikata struggled to make his way to the epicenter of this force of nature, because this could only be described as such. From the glimpses he managed to catch in between his own fights, Gintoki continued to take down ronin after ronin, seemingly uncaring of his own state. Hijikata bet that half of the blood that stained his white yukata was his own, but the enraged samurai _kept going._

The pit of his stomach felt heavy from the cold chill of fear that settled, though not for reasons that others might be sporting.

This was the Shiroyasha present but Hijikata  _didn’t care_. Underneath it was still the Sakata Gintoki that he knew and fell in love with. At the rate he was going, he feared that the man would be ruined, not by the sword of his enemy but from this self destructive fervor of destroying the people that dared to harm his kids.

Hijikata couldn’t let that happen. Glasses and China had been calling for his name, cries of  _Gin-san_ _!_ and  _Gin-chan_ _!_ breaking through the sounds of fighting, but it wasn’t enough to snap Gintoki out of his daze.

With gritted teeth, Hijikata finally pushed back his opponents, cutting them apart to break the deadlock. He dredged through the blood stained floor, uncaring of the bodies around him. Anyone stupid enough to get in his way tasted the business end of his blade. Hijikata trusted that the rest of his men would be able to cover for him, so he ploughed on.

Gintoki didn’t seem to notice his presence, up until Hijikata had to bring his sword up to avoid getting sliced in half. He winced, the strength behind it making his arms shake for a moment, but he remained standing.

Dark blue eyes clashed with Gintoki’s wine red ones. The look in his eyes felt wildly ethereal; more beast than man, more demon than human.

Hijikata couldn’t help but flinch, just for a moment though it wasn’t out of fear.

Even with the sight before him, Hijikata only felt sadness. That this stupid perm head had to become this way because he saw his kids got hurt. To fight and  _fight_ with little disregard for his own well being if it meant protecting them from further harm.

Because the Shiroyasha had felt the pain of losing the people he cared for, and Sakata Gintoki had felt the joy of discovering new pieces to fill his weary heart, so both were terrified at the prospect of it all slipping through their fingers.

They were locked in a stalemate for a few seconds, and Hijikata thought he saw something sparked within those bloodshot eyes. “Gintoki--”

And then Gintoki physically pushed back, the strength behind it even surprising the officer. Hijikata thought that he would continue his assault on him, but instead he swiveled around to drive his blade into the ronin that Hijikata realized had attempted to attack him from behind.

Tightening his grip on his sword, Hijikata rejoined the fray with a war cry of his own to draw their enemies’ attention to him. Right now, they didn’t have the luxury to relax with people still out to kill them. All he could do was protect Gintoki’s back to the best of his abilities.

Time seemed to blur within the whirlwind of blades and death but eventually, Hijikata managed to slice down the last opponent. He took a moment to just breathe, his exposure on the field having long since accustomed him to the sharp scent of blood. His body lightly trembled with exhaustion now that the danger had seemingly passed. Hijikata sported a number of injuries, but most of them were pretty shallow in comparison to  _that._

Gintoki stood with his back facing him. It looked like there was no part of him that remained unscathed. A trail of blood slowly ran down the length of his arm, then his blade before finally joining the growing puddle on the ground. That silver hair had streaks of red, almost giving it a pinkish hue. His own body shook, a combination of his own exhaustion and his sharp, puffed breaths.

Hijikata had started to make his careful approach, but abandoned it halfway when Gintoki collapsed. He quickly knelt beside the samurai, trying to ignore the rush of panic at how still he looked. After making sure that he was still breathing and had a present but thready pulse, Hijikata carefully cradled Gintoki, letting his head rest against his torso, already barking out orders for medical assistance.

He looked down at the blood smeared face, only to find half lidded eyes gazing back at him. Hijikata once again swallowed down the fear that tried to creep up from how weak they looked.

“God, you don’t get to die after pulling something like that, you permed bastard. I’ll fucking kill you myself if you croak on me,” Hijikata hoarsely whispered, continuously tapping Gintoki’s cheek to keep him awake.

Flecks of blood fell out of Gintoki’s lips from his weak attempt of a chuckle. “..defeats the purpose, fuckin’ stupid mayo...:” he slurred. The light grin eventually fell, and Hijikata saw the guilt in his dimming eyes.

“‘m so..rry...” Huh? What was he apologizing for?

But before Hijikata could get his answer, Gintoki fell limp in his hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gin sure went through a lot, with more stuff up ahead but don't worry, Hijikata is there for his permed idiot. He'll suffer just a little more before getting that good comfort. Hoping that I'll get to write the next part soon on top of my other story but I'll just have to see how kind my health and college would be to me sobs


	5. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An encounter in the rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had plans on writing the continuation of Demon but? You know that sometimes life just puts you through the wringer? I had a miserable day that ended with a two mile walk back to my dormitory in the rain while I was still feeling unwell. I swear the only reason I managed to persevere till the end was because I listened to Samurai Heart on repeat! So after I dried myself up and took some meds, I opened my laptop and poured my feelings into writing this piece. I suppose you could say that this is a mix of self indulgence and wish fulfillment? I felt absolutely horrible when I was walking in the rain so the next best thing is to put the perm through what I went through and give him the comfort I wish I've gotten.
> 
> Regardless of the reason behind it, I hope it'll still be an enjoyable read! A h/c intermission before the next one haha!

The first call of thunder—the _roar_ —signified of the coming rain. Soon enough, the heavens open up, finally giving Edo the shower it needed for the past couple of weeks. Umbrellas dotted the streets while those who were unfortunate enough to be caught in this downpour without one dashed for cover. Out on a patrol, Hijikata might have joined them if not for his forethought of carrying one with him when he noticed the grey clouds. 

Carrying a simple navy blue umbrella, he continued to smoke his cigarette regardless of the spray whipping his cheeks. Since he didn’t bother to cuff his pants, Hijikata could feel the wetness seeping in, as does the uncomfortable sogginess of dampened socks. An annoying sensation but nothing that he couldn’t handle.

Sharp eyes flit over the streets, rather halfheartedly keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. Hijikata wanted to believe that the first wet spell in weeks would keep even hardened rebels indoors but that wouldn’t justify a skip in the patrol. He wasn’t like Sougo, who disappeared as soon as he turned his back to him.

Having patrolled this route plenty of times, he moved almost on auto pilot when he turned left on the next intersection. Hijikata nearly choked on his cigarette when his lazy sweep zeroed in on a very familiar perm.

With sheets of water pouring down with a vengeance, Gintoki cut an almost haunting figure with his ducked head and hunched shoulders. His steps were slow, like it took every ounce of strength within him to walk forward. With his arms dangling uselessly, that allowed Hijikata to focus on the most worrying sight-- the lack of his bokutō by his hip.

Gintoki walking almost dazedly in the rain, so far from his home whilst unarmed? Hijikata couldn’t get to his side fast enough.

His splashing footsteps at least signaled his arrival, for Gintoki lifted his head just enough to see who it was. Other than that, he barely reacted at all when Hijikata hastily covered them both with his umbrella.

“You moron!” The officer hissed, his cigarette fallen to the ground. “Why are you all the way here? What are you doing out in the rain like this? You’re going to catch your death!”

Gintoki remained silent under the barrage of questions with his eyes planted firmly downwards. Worry rapidly took over, and he placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, switching gears in his approach. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Remaining tight lipped, Hijikata tried again, injecting a little more care into his tone. “Are the kids alright? Did someone get hurt?”

That got him a slow shake of his head, and that was it. Gintoki was not in the mood to talk. It did little to ease the concern coiling in his stomach, but at least he wasn’t completely unresponsive. Hijikata would seek an answer later. Right now, he needed to get him out of the rain before he really caught his death in this cold rain. 

“Okay, okay. That’s fine.” Hijikata considered his options, then whipped out his cellphone. He sent a quick text to Yamazaki that he had to end his patrol early, and to send someone else to cover the rest of his route. With that over and done with, Hijikata wrapped an arm around Gintoki’s shoulders, tugging his body closer to him.

“We’re going to head back to my apartment, alright?” Hijikata didn’t wait for an answer he knew he wouldn’t get and instead, started to steer his partner into the right direction. His jacket rapidly got wet with Gintoki’s soaked form pressed against him but that was the least of his concerns. 

From the corner of his eye, he could at least make out a few things. His perm was stuck to his face with only a few stubborn strands sticking out. His bangs almost completely cover his eyes, but from the glimpse that peeked through, his curled eyelashes juxtaposed the almost lifeless look in those red depths. 

Hijikata really wanted to know what happened. If it wasn’t related to his immediate family, then the only thing that he could think of would be Gintoki’s demons rearing its ugly head. With what he shared of his past thus far and from the little bits that the Shinsengumi dug up, the man that was once known as the Shiroyasha probably had a less than stellar past. Typically, they manifested in the form of nightmares, but perhaps Gintoki’s defenses weren’t as strong as it usually was today.

Even the steadiest of backs would buckle under the weight of the world. Hijikata would ensure that Gintoki didn’t have to carry it alone. He could cry and let himself wash anew like the rain if he wanted to. Crying wasn’t weak. It just meant that he had been strong for too long.

Eventually, Hijikata’s apartment came into view. It wasn’t anything fancy; more of a space to occasionally escape to as opposed to an actual living space but it had the essentials stocked up. After he brought them in and flicked on the lights, Hijikata told Gintoki to stay put for a moment while he searched for some towels.

It took him a few minutes to find his stuff since it had been awhile but soon, he returned with a couple of grey towels. Gintoki had remained where he was, still worryingly silent as a puddle formed beneath his feet. Seeing as he chose to remain motionless, Hijikata took the initiative and wrapped a towel around his body while he used the other to gently rub the top of his head. 

His action seemed to finally spark something within Gintoki, for he slowly dried himself up with cool, shaking hands. Now that warmth was slowly seeping in, his body kindly reminded him of his drenched state through the shivers that lightly wracked his body. A sneeze even escaped him; aside from a brief twitch of an eyebrow, Hijikata barely flinched at the spray.

“I’ll go draw you a bath. Now that you look less like a drowned rat, you can come in. Go take off of your clothes and sit at the kitchen table while I get it done.” Trusting Gintoki to follow his instructions, Hijikata immediately disappeared to get the bath ready. It took about twenty minutes, and after he fished out a spare pair of pajamas that might fit his partner, he went to search for his wayward guest.

Seeing him only in his boxers with the towels wrapped around his shivering form was a good sign for his responsiveness. Gintoki still carried a somber, almost unapproachable air about him but he it looked like he wasn't going to completely box Hijikata out. 

“Come on, let’s get you warmed up.” Hijikata gently grabbed his wrist, tugged him to his feet and directed him to the bathroom. This was not the first time that he saw Gintoki naked, but this sight felt almost vulnerable to witness. Soaking himself in the warm bath at least brought the color back to his cheeks, though beyond the initial moan of relief, things remained wordless.

Hijikata had to stop himself from asking a few times while he too dried himself off and warmed up. As much as he wanted to, it didn’t feel like the right moment. Gintoki wasn’t exactly delicate but he had to tread lightly. That stupid perm could lock himself tighter than the Edo Bank vault if he wanted to. 

So the pair didn’t exchange a single word throughout the bath. Hijikata only spoke up when he instructed Gintoki to change into his set of pajamas. While he dressed himself up, the host went to his cabinets and scoured through them, hoping to find something that was still within the expiry date.

Luckily, he scored a gifted box of tea so he made them a couple of mugs. By the time he was done, Hijikata found Gintoki seated on the lone sofa, knees drawn up with his arms wrapped around them. He took a seat next to him and wordlessly offered a mug.

Initially it didn’t look like he would accept, but slowly Gintoki uncurled himself to grab hold of it, giving a tiny nod of acknowledgement. For the first few minutes, the only sounds were their slow sips, merely warming themselves up even more with the hot beverage.

Hijikata’s patience had its limits though, so he had to bring up the elephant in the room again. “So, what happened?”

_ Slurp. _

“Was anyone hurt?”

_ Slurp. _

A twitch but he remained collected. “Is it something that you don’t want to talk about right now?”

_ Slurp.  _ “Mmmhhh.”

An inaudible sigh. _This stupid perm_. Hijikata placed his mug down to gently wrap an arm around Gintoki’s shoulders once more. This time he was pulled into a loose hug, still remaining in that almost huddled up position. Hijikata could feel his now dry and fluffed up hair tickle the underside of his chin. 

“Okay. That’s fine.” Was the rumble of his voice comforting? From the way Gintoki ever so slightly nuzzle into his torso, he liked to think it was. He got to listen to Hijikata's steady heartbeat; something that always helped whenever he needed some assurance that this was _real_. Hijikata carefully extricate the mug from Gintoki’s fingers, placed it on the table before he positioned his partner into a proper hug. 

One of his hand rested at the curve of his back while the other lovingly cupped the base of his neck. A thumb idly played with those silver locks while he breathed deep and easy, coaxing Gintoki to do the same. 

The fingers that dug into his pajamas loosened as the body in his hold slowly relaxed. Gintoki once again nuzzled into Hijikata’s torso, acting very much like a human sized cat.

“You don’t have to talk about it now, but know that I’m always here to listen,” Hijikata softly spoke, humming a little afterwards. “You don’t have to carry everything by yourself, you lazy perm head.” His voice dipped into almost a whisper. “You’re not alone anymore, _Gintoki_.”

They were perm head and tax thief in public, but when it was just the two of them in their bubble of privacy, they were Gintoki and Toshirou. 

Gintoki remained quiet throughout his admission, but Hijikata felt the deep exhale. 

“Yeah.” He buried his head deeper. “Yeah. ‘m sorry… promise I’ll tell you later…”

It was hard to describe but Hijikata just felt a sudden swell of adoration for this fool. He dipped down to plant a soft kiss on top of his head, then settled back with his arms still wrapped almost protectively around Gintoki.  
  
They would remain in this position till Hijikata’s arms felt numb but that was okay. Gintoki could take all the time that he needed and he would still patiently hold him if it meant easing the burdens of the world on his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to imagine Gintoki would sometimes have days like this, and when he decided to walk out on a whim, he just got so lost in his memories and regrets that he barely notice what went on. It's a good thing that Hijikata found him, or else he'd just have kept wandering for hours on end. The kids are contacted later so they won't worry too much about this silly perm head. 
> 
> Next time will be the continuation. Crossing my fingers ahhhhh


	6. Thorny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Demon. Something is up with Gintoki. Hijikata ain't having any of this nonsense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this streak seemingly continued. I typed up this chapter on my phone during a program with messy management, in between getting verbally assaulted by angered participants (which they are justified to cause again, poor management but I'm just a volunteer in the grand scheme of things) and having to endure finger pointing on why things were crashing and burning as they were. 
> 
> So once again, I poured my feelings into writing this. Gin gets to Suffer like I do, as the trend suggested. 
> 
> Apologies if the formatting is weird or anything! This is my first time posting on mobile. And as always, I hope it'll be an enjoyable read!

Hijikata had been sitting by his bedside, slouched uncomfortably in a chair when Gintoki opened his eyes.

His awakening was slow and painful, understandable with the amount of injuries he sustained. By this point, only because the author demanded it that Gintoki hadn’t bled out on his way to the hospital. He had cut it a little close but thanks to modern medicine, the perm head managed to pull through.

At the coherent look in those tired eyes, Hijikata fell back against his chair, shoulders slumped as the tension seeped out of it. His uniform looked wrinkled, hair matted and greasy, like he hadn’t left this room in a few days.

“Well it’s about time, sleeping bastard,” he uttered, rubbing a tired hand over his eyes. Whether to ease the sleepiness or the sting of relieved tears, no one could tell. “Took you long enough.”

It took a few attempts and a few careful sips of water before Gintoki managed to croak out, “Kagura and Shinpachi?”

“Both of them were treated after you were brought in. Their wounds were skin deep at best. Hell, China tried to milk everything that she could before she got discharged. Glasses stopped her from breaking something to extend her stay for the free hospital food. God, don’t you feed that kid?” Hijikata answered, not unkindly.

“That black hole in her gut is never satisfied,” he quipped back, sounding a little stronger. “They’re both alright then?”

“Did your hearing got shot too?” The gentle tone didn’t match his words. “Those two are fine. They’ve been camping in your room when they could. Right now they’re resting up at Glasses’ place.”

“I see. That’s good.” Gintoki exhaled, sinking deeper into his bed. “That’s good.”

“You’re the only one who really got fucked up. Everyone else got off with minor injuries.” That might be from his rampage; a lot of the rebels were focused or just generally aware of the demon amidst their presence, which made it easier for his men to subdue them.

"Well, it's kinda my thing by this point. The woes of being a shounen main protagonist and all that." Gintoki's attempt at lightening the mood gave the opposite effect.

"But don't let it become a habit!" Hijikata rebuked, looking rather angered. "Just because you were known as the Shiroyasha or whatever, you're not fucking invincible!"

That blew the wind right out of his sail. Hijikata felt a little guilty for deflating what little levity that they had but he believed that Gintoki needed to hear it. He can't go wild like that without worrying of the consequences. He has kids to look after! What are they going to do if he killed himself over a self destructive rampage through the battlefield?

Gintoki didn't have to fight alone anymore but it seemed that the message had yet to really sink in that empty head of his.

"Yeah, you're right." That honestly threw him off. Hijikata expected for a little more arguing but the fight seemed to have seeped out of him.

"Oi, you feeling alright? Do I need to call the doc or something?"

Gintoki rolled his eyes at least, though it looked like it took effort. Being awake and talking must've taken a toll on what little stamina that he had. "Haha, very funny." His blinks were getting slower as he tried to stave off sleep for as long as he could.

"Hey tax-thief… I…"

"Yeah?"

"... never mind."

His brows scrunched up in light confusion. What was that all about? Hijikata would have pushed for an answer, but then Gintoki yawned. Sleep claimed him faster than Hijikata could stand and stretch his creaky back.

Well then, he got the feeling that Gintoki was hiding something, or at least unwilling to say what was on his mind just yet. That was fine. Hijikata had patience to spare. He could wait until his partner was ready to talk.

* * *

Scratch that. Hijikata _had_ patience to spare, but even the reserves were rapidly dwindling with each passing day. Gintoki was discharged from the hospital about four days later with strict instructions and painkillers to help during his recovery. Aside from that time when he first awakened, Hijikata didn't get the chance to see him, too swamped by the follow up reports from the raid.

The next time he did get to see Gintoki was about a week later. They had a chance encounter near the cafe that they often frequented. Aside from the bandages he could see peeking out, the guy looked a lot better. Hijikata felt relieved enough to willingly offer a free meal, but surprisingly Gintoki declined.

"Ah, sorry. You know how Gin-san always have jobs lined up." He tried to deliver it in a joking manner but it felt fake. Hijikata noticed the way he wasn't making direct eye contact but the samurai excused himself before he could be questioned.

Odd and a little worrisome, if he was being honest. What was up with him? Hijikata chalked it up to post hospital jitters or some shit. Gintoki could be weird when he wanted to.

But then it _kept happening._ Everytime Hijikata saw that familiar perm, he always had some sort of excuse to get out of whatever thing that he was invited to. By this point, Hijikata had reason to believe that the bastard was _avoiding_ him.

He tried to get an answer from his kids but they too couldn't make out the reason behind their boss' odd mood. At least they confirmed that something _was_ up with Gintoki. Damn that idiot for making people worry!

Hijikata had tried to be patient, he really did but when they bumped into one another during his off day and actually seeing the way Gintoki brushed him off without even looking at him in the eye had finally pushed him over the edge.

Oh no. That damn perm wasn't going to avoid him this time. Hijikata swiftly turned to grasp at Gintoki's wrist. Ignoring the flinch and the initial yank, he kept a form hold as he started to pull Gintoki away from the main road. All manner of resistance, the attention they were attracting, the curses thrown his way--Hijikata was a man on a mission. Anyone who tried to stop him will get a sword shoved up their ass.

"Oi Oogushi-kun! I can walk by my damn self! Just-- fucking let go!"

"What, and let you slink away like a slimy bastard?" His tone came out harsh, devoid of the underlining warmth that he often used for Gintoki. Either this was noticeable or his words simply hit the nail on the head, his stupid partner at least stopped squirming, falling silent just a step behind Hijikata.

Hijikata’s grip was tight but seeing that Gintoki seemed compliant, he relented by loosening it a little. The pair made for an odd sight; a black haired man guiding a silver haired one to what felt like his doom from how subdued the latter was. They made a turn into an unoccupied alley, and when Hijikata felt they were in deep enough, he let go of Gintoki’s wrist just to whirl around, grabbed his shoulders and pushed him against the brick wall.

Having not expected this move, Gintoki yelped in surprise then winced in pain. Hijikata had to remind himself that this foolish man wasn’t fully recovered but other than that, he dug his fingers a little into those shoulders.

“A little rough there, Hijikata-kun? I mean, if you wanted to do it you could’ve just--”

“Alright, fucking spill perm head. You were acting weird in the hospital, and then after that it felt like you were avoiding me till it turns out that you _were_ ,” Hijikata spat out, angered cobalt eyes drilling into those hesitant maroon ones. “I tried to be patient, gave you space until you felt ready to talk about it but you don’t get to fucking ignore me like I’m nobody.” _Like I’m not important to you_ , he wanted to say but swallow down.

“So you better have a damn good reason for this ‘cause I swear, injured or not, I’m going to beat some fucking sense into that stupid perm.”

Gintoki averted his gaze, jaw clenched with a faint _tch_. The scrunch of his brows looked more unsure then angered. That was kind of good for Hijikata. Even though he was caged, so to speak, Gintoki wasn’t acting like a trapped animal. If he wanted to, he could have easily broken Hijikata’s hold and make a break for it. Maybe this meant that this worrisome moron would finally tell him the reason behind the distant behavior?

The tension in the air was thick; both men refused to yield immediately to the other. Still, Hijikata was confident that he would last longer. Unlike Gintoki, he was willing to put all his chips down in this standoff. They will not be leaving this alley until Hijikata got his answer. He conveyed that particular sentiment in his gaze when Gintoki’s eyes flicker back to his.

Perhaps that had been the breaking point. Gintoki’s stare was fixed to the ground when he finally mumbled, “Because you… you were scared of me.”

Hijikata blinked. What.

Now that he had no choice, Gintoki spilled everything, eyes sliding shut with his hands clenched. “I… I remember back at the warehouse, when you… parried with my sword. You _flinched_ when you looked at me-- at the… Shiroyasha.” His voice was no louder than a whisper. “I get it. I looked like a fucking demon. I _acted_ like one. I’ve been told by allies and enemies alike. It’s hard not to notice what they say behind my back. I know that people get scared but…”

Gintoki couldn’t look at him in the eyes. “... I didn’t want _you_ to look at me like that. I didn’t want you to be _scared_ of me. And I guess-- I thought that if I kept my distance, you wouldn’t… wouldn’t…” Hijikata really had to strain his eyes to catch his next words. “... immediately want to leave me."

Gintoki’s voice tapered off, while Hijikata remained silent, taking a bit to process this reasoning. When the silence stretched on for what felt like ages, Gintoki subconsciously fidgeted in his hold. “Look, if you want me to, I’ll--”

Hijikata didn’t let him finish. “You fucking moron.” Then came the surprise headbutt. Both yelped in pain from the knock, their heads reeled back from the impact. It stung something fierce, making his head spin for a few seconds but this idiot deserved it.

"Ow! What the fuck was that--" And then Hijikata silenced him by smashing their lips together. The kiss was rough and awkward; nose brushing, teeth knocking, hands grasping for purchase. Hijikata kissed like he was trying to suck the life out of him, and Gintoki had to slap his back for him to let up.

When Hijikata finally pulled back, there was nothing but pants for the first ten seconds. Gintoki's eyes were wide and horribly confused and _god_ , how could the biggest moron in this side of Edo looked so cute right now?

"You fucking permed idiot." Hijikata's voice sounded soft and terribly fond. "Was that all this was? You thought I was going to _leave_ you?"

Gintoki still looked confused, a little bit of hurt seeping in. Hijikata quickly explained further. "I don't know what goes through that empty head of yours, but I wasn't scared, moron. I was… worried." Hmm, wow. Saying it out loud made it embarrassing somehow.

"You were worried…?"

"Of course I was." Now that they were slowly getting on the same page, Hijikata let go of Gintoki's shoulders to gently grab his hands. He noticed the purplish hue on his wrist from the bruising grip, and took a moment to brush at it with his thumb in silent apology.

"Look, I knew that you were once known as the Shiroyasha--but that's it. I only know the moniker you've been given with. I don't _know_ who the Shiroyasha was." Here, he interlocked their fingers, giving those rough hands a gentle squeeze. "But I know who Sakata Gintoki is. Even then, you’re not going to change with a name. I’ll still love the Shiroyasha inside of you.”

Conviction layered his words, swathed by a solemn promise that would last till his dying breath. Hijikata _fell_ in love, is _still_ in love and will _continue_ to love this idiot. A thorny was like a burr. You can’t easily shake one off once they latched on, after all.

Gintoki stared at him with an unreadable expression. Hijikata gazed back steadily, showcasing his honesty in that quiet vow. The silence finally shattered by Gintoki’s unexpected laughter. He closed his eyes before he leaned forward to rest his forehead on Hijikata’s shoulder. The chuckles finally tapered off with a soft exhale.

“God, how could you say such embarrassing things so easily?” This time, it was Gintoki who squeezed their linked hands, sighing. “Now I feel stupid for worrying.”

“Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always been fucking stupid.” His actions didn’t match his words at all. “You’ve just been more of an idiot than usual. I’m almost hurt that you thought I was shallow enough to dump your ass over something like that. If I was, we wouldn’t even have gotten past the second date when you tried to trick me into eating that shit of a monstrosity you dared to call as food.”

“Oi, don’t diss the Uji Gintoki bowl! Like your dog food is any better, mayo breath.”

“Like you have a refined palate to enjoy the condiment of the gods. At least mine isn’t a downpayment for diabetes, sweet freak.”

“At least my bowl is _edible_. There’s no sane person on this planet that would willingly consume that shit. I mean, how could you kiss anyone with that mouth?”

Hijikata wore a faint smirk. “Like this.” And then they were kissing again. Not as rough as before but not delicate either. It was-- firm, present, very much in this moment. He freed one hand to cup the back of Gintoki’s neck, the other clasped perfectly in his partner’s. One kiss led to another, and then another until finally they had to part for air.

With their tousled hair, ruby red lips and flushed cheeks, it wouldn’t take much to cause a misunderstanding. The only saving grace was that it wasn’t enough to _really_ cause a problem downstairs.

“... Okay, you make a fair point,” Gintoki muttered. His gaze flicked downwards, then back up to Hijikata’s face, who had been watching him patiently. He allowed the delicate touch on his cheek, easily closing the distance when Gintoki leaned forward.

This kiss carried a different meaning. Gintoki tipped just a little to plant his kiss on the corner of Hijikata's lips.

_Sorry for making you worry._

Hijikata responded by giving him a gentle peck in the same manner.

_You’re forgiven._

Regardless of their strength and reputation, Sakata Gintoki and Hijikata Toshirou were ultimately human in the end. They feel emotions, they make mistakes-- no doubt that in the future, their bond would be tested once more. As long as one of them remained stubborn and refused to give up on the other, things would turn out alright in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gin is dumb and insecure but Hijikata just accepts this lovable fool. I definitely want to write more on his insecurities in future pieces! You don't get to live with the kind of emotional baggage he has and not have some level of doubt at the back of his mind. 
> 
> Since Gin had suffered these past few chapters, I think I'll go back to fluff for the next one! Something dorky and fluffy for these dumb boys. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions on what you'd like to see, I'm all down to listen!


	7. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lazy morning spent in bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in the mood for something domestic and fluffy, so have this domestic and fluffy piece. Drown with me in this. Drown I say.

He felt a tug at his subconscious. The gentlest of touches brushed at the edge of his mind, soft yet persistent.

Wiggling his toes, he concluded that his feet were cold. He hogged the fucking blankets again, was his first coherent thought of the day. It took about a minute before the fog of sleep evaporated enough for him to open his eyes. Hijikata’s vision was filled with the steady rising and falling of Gintoki’s chest.

Well, more like his collarbones and neck. The silver haired perm had the thick blanket wrapped around his lithe form, which proved his earlier thought. Well, the climate was a lot chillier now that Autumn had embraced them so he couldn’t exactly blame his partner for stealing his half of the blanket. He still would though for the sake of complaining when he was more awake. 

Hijikata lifted his head slightly, sliding his hand underneath so he could support his head while his free went over to Gintoki’s face. His fingers lightly danced on the cheek, eliciting a little twitch before they went up to play with the strands of silver hair splayed on his temple.

The room was bathed in a grey light, the morning overcast and dreary.

Hijikata’s attention shifted from the window to his (in his mind, perfect) partner. His cobalt eyes dipped to Gintoki’s covered chest, gaze slowly trailing up. He took in the lightly tanned skin, those beautiful pink lips (slightly chapped but very much kissable), pointed nose and delicate eyelashes.

Gintoki’s eyes were closed, lips curved in a small, peaceful smile. Hijikata had been waking up next to him long enough to tell that, in a rare moment, he was most definitely awake.

Hijikata eyed his partner, eyes calculating before a faint mischievous grin made its way on his face. He lay his head back down on the pillow, his free hand slipping under the covers to seek out Gintoki’s warm hand. As soon as their fingers interlocked, Hijikata slid his feet inside the blanket and immediately pressed them against Gintoki’s calves.

“Ah!” A surprised gasp flew out before he could stop it. Knowing that the jig was up, Gintoki cracked upon an eye, sending a look that clearly said, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re no fun? Because that’s what you are. No fun Toshi-chan.”

Hijikata rolled his eyes, snorting softly. “Well good fucking morning to you too.” Despite his words, he turned his head slightly, leaning a bit forward so he could place a tender kiss on Gintoki’s forehead.

The silverette smiled at the gesture. When he managed to actually be awake early enough on Hijikata’s off day, Gintoki absolutely enjoyed these mornings with him when they were feeling lazy and could just lie there, basking in sleepy affection.

(It reminded him that this was real; that this was his _present_. Not his haunted past, nor the uncertain future. He was _here_ , in this moment with Hijikata right beside him).

“Morning,” Gintoki mumbled back, cracking a jaw dropping yawn. His arms slowly entangled themselves from the blanket, slipping out from the warm cocoon so they could seek out Hijikata’s warmth.

With their close proximity, it took a bit of maneuvering but Hijikata gently grabbed hold of Gintoki’s hand and brought them up to his lips. He gave small kisses at the tips of his fingers, then repeated the gesture with the other one.

“You have icy hands, like your soul,” Gintoki whined but did not make any attempts to pull his hands away.

“Whose fucking fault do you think it is? You stole the blankets, again,” Hijikata retorted without heat. “By this point, I’ve gotten used to waking up in the morning and feeling like there’s ice in my veins because I slept with your hogging ass.”

“It fits your cold blooded tax thieving nature, no? I’m just letting you becoming the man you were always meant to be.” 

“So you and your habit of forming blanket cocoons reflect who you are as man? Soft on the outside and squishy on the inside? Ooh, sounds terrifying.” His tone was as dry as the desert. 

“It just means Gin-san is huggable. Everyone loves a huggable protagonist! Why do you think there exist body pillows of me on the internet?”

“Wait, what?” Hijikata looked more alert. “There’s _what_ now of you on the internet?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, mayo breath. Let others dream on what they could’ve had. You’re the one who exclusively gets Gin-san's branded and approved hugs.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel special?” Regardless, he accepted the arm that laid across his hip and the head that buried itself into his torso. That nuisance of a perm tickled the underside of his chin. Disgusting. 

“I’m a goddamned _treat_. Just breathing the same air as me is a privilege.”

“I guess I just have to stop breathing and die then.”

“I’ll put ‘here lies mayo breath, who fucking died’ on your tombstone. The vagueness will keep visitors guessing like how did you fucking die? Then I’ll come out and tell the real reason, probably make a quick buck out of it and then use the money to buy the wrong brand of cigs to offer at your grave.”

“Ah yes, so you can let me down one last time.”

“You know I only do the best for you.” Their conversation gave a different impression on what they were actually doing. Amidst the casual planning on capitalizing Hijikata’s death, Gintoki still had his face pressed against the planned victim’s chest, occasionally nuzzling like an over sized house cat. The pleased hums that rumbled his chest sounded like goddamned purrs even.

Unperturbed at the thought of being exploited post mortem, Hijikata’s arm had wounded itself around Gintoki’s back, holding him in a loose hug. His hand was positioned high enough that his fingers could idly play with those soft curls. 

Hijikata could never get enough of this. Going to bed and waking up next to this stupid face sounded insufferable, but he supposed he too was foolish for loving said idiotic face. Perhaps that made them both the biggest brand of idiots in Edo. 

A soft, exhaled sigh as something icky and terribly warm blossomed in Hijikata’s chest. He gave a gentle, full bodied squeeze. “I love you.”

“Ew, that’s fucking gross.”

“We’ve been together for three years, you shitty perm.”

Gintoki pulled back to flash him a cheeky grin, wine red eyes terribly fond. Then he tipped his head up to kiss him on the lips, morning breath and all. 

“ _Ew_.” Hijikata complained flatly, nose wrinkling and secretly amused. “Now that’s gross.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no bloody timeline for this but yeah they've been sleeping with each other for a few years. Sometimes they sleep at Hijikata's apartment, other times at the Yorozuya. Usually Hijikata wakes up early for work, typically leaving before Gin is awake so on the rare times where he wakes early, on top of it being an off day, of course they have to take advantage of this. They'd stay there until Kagura or Shinpachi wakes them up, so they could have breakfast together. It's all terribly domestic, really.


	8. Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata introspect on something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I almost had the scare of a lifetime when my laptop went on the fritz, nearly ruining a work I've spent almost the entire semester on. Luckily things worked out, so I decided to write something fluffy to ease the nerves. The flow feels a little wonky but I hope it'll still be a nice read!

Gintoki always chooses the protein dish -- be it fish, eggs or the occasional meat -- of their breakfast spread as his first bite of the day and Hijikata realized that he might knew more about him that he does about himself.

He had come to memorize his routine – asleep at around midnight to two AM (because this lovable fool always insisted on staying up until his return, regardless of his late schedule), waking up around three to nine hours later (it depended on his restlessness, or if his mind was spared from the nightmares), a fifteen minute shower (or five minutes, it depends on how quickly he wanted to wash up before Hijikata left for work during the rare moments he was up early enough), about five minutes of attempting to style his ridiculous perm before giving up since it was too much of a hassle.

Hijikata knew exactly which brand of strawberry milk was his favorite -- the one that had a sunglasses wearing strawberry posing with a glass of milk. How could someone drink something so sweet in the morning? (“Right back at you, tax-thief. How could you drink coffee topped with mayo? Scratch that. How could you add that disgusting dog food into a liquid and drink it? Who did you offend in your previous life to give you shit taste buds?” They would then argue over their respective tastes, but Hijikata would still slide the glass of strawberry milk his way when asked).

He realized that Gintoki disliked his stubble since he would whine that it “scratches my chin when we kiss and it reminds me of sandpaper. Sandpaper are evil little bastards that should never be anywhere near an ass of any way shape, plumpness or form.” Gintoki hated it when he doesn’t properly rinse out the sink after he was done shaving. He also despised his preferred brand of aftershave, mostly because Hijikata managed to find the one brand catered to a very, very specific niche in the market that sold food scented aftershave. Two guesses on what his favorite bottle smelled like.

Out of all the household chores, despite his tendency to shirk on them, Gintoki preferred to do the cooking. It was surprising to see that he actually knew how to cook. He complained that they never really had much money to splurge on ingredients, so they stuck with simple fare. He made sure to add a little more to the Yorozuya’s grocery budget after that. Hijikata also came to figure out that Gintoki didn’t have any real preference when it came to gifts. He’d accept anything and everything, even the ones that he complained about. Though, there was a special spark in his eyes when Hijikata bought him a strawberry parfait, the latest Jump manga or gifting his kids instead. He kept finding himself falling for this man all over again when Gintoki ate his parfait with this childlike excitement, and the soft smile he'd wear when Kagura and Shinpachi thanked him for his kindness.

(Hijikata found it harder to keep himself in check during these moments, though when the urge got too much, he’d throw decorum out the window to just kiss those lovable lips).

“Hey, pass me my milk.”

“Here you go.”

Hijikata exactly knew how he looked in bed; sweaty skin shimmering under the faint moonlight, silver tresses ruffled endearingly, flushed cheeks and fingers lightly digging into his back, feeling breathy and dazed since he had taken advantage of the half dozen spots that drew out delicious moans from those deliciously plump, utterly kissable lips. Experience and consensual experimentation had shown him how to get Gintoki excited and get the mood going.

He also knew about Gintoki’s scars -- both physical and psychological -- since Hijikata had traced them with ghost soft touches during quiet, intimate moments; coaxing Gintoki to be more open, more  _vulnerable_ with him because he was  _allowed_  to without fear of retribution. Hijikata too had held him in his arms after he awoke from a terrible nightmare, trembling in quiet sobs that he tried to soothe through physical comfort and assurances of safety and love.

(“Shh… it’s alright. I’m here. You’re not alone,” he mumbled into damp locks, gently yet firmly holding onto his partner, wishing that he could physically fight his demons for him. All Hijikata could do was be the anchor that kept Gintoki steady).

“You’re going to wash the dishes? Need any help?”

“Sure. You can dry the plates up.”

Hijikata knew that despite the confidence that he exuded, sometimes it cracked just enough to show that the perm head had a lot of emotional baggage to unpack. Gintoki feared ghosts because he didn’t want to see the faces of the people he failed to protect; couldn’t bear the blame in their hollowed eyes. He couldn’t swim not because of a lack of trying, but having his head completely submerged underwater triggered awful memories of events that he still hadn’t shared with Hijikata. Gintoki was terrified that he’d be completely forgotten by the people he cared about, even though his presence had left a lasting imprint on their very souls. No one who had their lives changed because of Sakata Gintoki will ever forget him. Hijikata could attest to that, and he will always assure him of this undeniable fact whenever his self confidence took a rare blow.

(“You think I’d ever forget your stupid face?” Hijikata’s thumb lightly brushed Gintoki’s cheek, the act as gentle as his gaze. “As if. Who else has this ridiculous perm?” And his hand would go to that mop of silver, gently running his fingers through it as he continued to assure Gintoki that he will never forget about him).

“Hand me the towel.”

“Here.”

Suddenly it struck Hijikata when he handed the item in question to Gintoki’s awaiting hand, that even though he knew a lot about him, that their lives would always be in this delicate mix of domesticity and danger where peace could be as short lived as cherry blossoms, Hijikata wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

This was not where Hijikata expected to end up, but perhaps he could spend the rest of his life like this.

“Hey perm head.”

“Yeah?”

“... I love you.”

“Eugh, what brought this on? It’s too early for this shit.” But seconds later, in a quieter voice, almost whispered. “Yeah, likewise you sappy tax-thief.

Yeah, maybe he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I couldn't get enough of domestic moments between them. It's just - clenches fist - good stuff. One of these days I'm just going to write a piece filled with descriptions of soft touches, domesticity and the love shared between two fools. Maybe when I'm on my break in June. Almost there...


	9. Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata received an unexpected visit in the middle of the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my immune system: - fails me again -  
> me: - spend the day in bed slowly writing this out on my bed - 
> 
> I'm so tired of coughing my lungs out but hey at least I managed to finish this piece in time!

At this time of night, there was still one lit room within the Shinsengumi barracks. The occupant of the room, with his hunched back and stress lines etched deep on his forehead heaved out a deep, tired sigh.

Their workload had increased this week due to a recent raid, and as always, Hijikata got stuck with the paperwork aspect of things. Kondou had offered to shoulder half of it himself but since he had other duties to attend to, Hijikata gently refused the kind offer, citing that it wouldn't take him too long to complete.

Now, he was eating those words as nearly ten hours later, there were still two stacks left to go through. The allure of sleep sounded enticing, but his desire to complete things before he could relax pushed him into grabbing his brush once again, grabbing the next report on the pile.

At some point, Hijikata heard faint scratching noises coming from his closed door. The sound made him tense up but the accompanied meowing showed that it was nothing more than a stray cat. If he wasn't already half asleep, he might have found it odd that a stray cat had tried to gain access to his room. Initially, he stayed where he was, trying to get back into the groove but then the meowing got more persistent, so much so that he could no longer ignore it.

Annoyance sizzled his nerves as he got to his feet, heavy steps carrying him to the door. He had half a mind to chase out this stupid feline but when he opened the door, what greeted him was the last thing he expected.

Gintoki's dull eyes stared up at him from his position on the floor, presumably the hand that had been scratching on the door still raised.

Hijikata stared at this crouched moron, briefly wondering if he had worked too hard to start seeing hallucinations until that perm started meowing again. This time he didn't even bother on making it sound realistic. Those were the most pitiful attempts of meowing that he ever heard. It was surprising how no one bothered to check this oddity. Come the next morning, someone was going to commit seppuku for this lack of diligence.

"Meow. Meow. Hiji-nya~"

"Oh god that sounds disgusting. And what the fuck are you here for in the middle of the goddamned night?" Better still, how did Gintoki slipped within the Shinsengumi barracks without anyone noticing? The ones who were on guard tonight will be the first to commit seppuku, he decided. If this loud, silver haired idiot managed to get in with little problem, there must be a hole in the security somewhere. It was a miracle that they hadn't been invaded yet. 

"Tch. No appreciation for my fine acting. The ones that patrolled the perimeters at least found it believable. Allowed little ol' me to slip right in." Well, what really happened was they chased after the cat that he sort of, uh, gently chucked over the wall. In the midst of the confusion, he sneaked in and went towards where he knew Hijikata's quarters was.

"You still haven't answered my question, bastard. Why the fuck are you sneaking around here like a two-bit thief?" Even in his annoyance, Hijikata grabbed the outstretched hand, hauling this moron to his feet when he started to complain about his achy back and instinctively placed a steady hand on his shoulder at the slight stumble.

Gintoki continued with his theatrics, making a grand show of dusting himself off, then flipped his imaginary long hair over his shoulder to cast Hijikata an unimpressed look.

"You really have no idea, do you tax-thief? Did all that dog shit you eat clogged your brain?"

"Oi, mayo is omnipotent! How could you and your shit taste buds not understand that?"

"Because I want to be able to eat the rest of my food without, oh, making myself sick in the process. Mayo should really be classified as a hazard to society. Why haven't the health inspectors crack down on the Shinsengumi yet for continuously existing with such filth?"

"Oh fuck you!" They had kept their volume low but just like Hijikata's blood pressure, it quickly rose as it always does whenever Gintoki _existed_. "I should arrest you right here and now for trespassing and harassment of a police officer!"

"Now now Hiji-chan, you were always the one to tell me to keep my volume down. Practice what you preach, why don't ya?"

Hijikata fought against the rebellious blush that tried to stain his cheeks. Holy fuck how could this shameless perm so easily said that outloud? "I'm adding making obscene comments in public to your fucking charges."

“Now you’re just abusing your power. I was merely repeating what you said! You’re going to arrest me for parroting the words spoken by a police officer?”

“You know damn well I was off duty at the time!” It took a lot of willpower to not strangle this exasperating manchild. “Don’t try to twist my fucking words to suit your lies!”

“So what you’re implying is that, if you told me that while you were still on duty, then it wouldn’t be a crime?” Gintoki had a particular gleam in his eye that made the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. Hijikata didn’t like that look one bit. It often spelt trouble and headaches and frustrations on various fronts.

“You’re an infuriating bastard, you know that?” Hijikata exhaled harshly, pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off his growing headache. All he wanted to do was to try and finish up his work, take a quick shower before turning in for the night. Was that really too much to ask?

Gintoki didn’t immediately follow up with another quip, so Hijikata looked up to find him leaning slightly to the right, his gaze aimed elsewhere.

“Ah, it’s finally midnight,” he remarked casually, like they had been discussing the weather all this while. Gintoki’s eyes fell upon him once again. Hijikata felt his heart beating a little faster when he saw the intensity behind them.

And before he could properly comprehend this sudden change, Gintoki grabbed him by the lapels to pull into a searing kiss. Hijikata remained frozen for two seconds before his eyes fluttered shut, letting himself melt into it. His hands found purchase on Gintoki's back, and they exchanged kiss after heated kiss until Hijikata had to break for air.

While he was still catching his breath, Gintoki smiled at him with the soft, sweet kind that never failed to make his heart flutter before he leaned in. Hijikata thought he was going in for another kiss but instead, he whispered in his ear. "Happy Birthday tax-thief. I wanted to be the first person to say that to you."

Oh, it was a toss-up whether Gintoki's husky voice or his words colored his cheeks faster. Hijikata bit his bottom lip, gaze flickering away. Ah, he can't believe that it was already May 5th. Putting his nose to the grindstone really screwed up his sense of time. If Gintoki hadn't come here to wish him that, he might have been surprised come morning when his fellow Shinsengumi gave their wishes to him as well.

"I knew you'd forget your own birthday, you workaholic," Gintoki teased, which only made his cheeks warmer.

"Oh shut up. There was a lot of work to do this week, alright?" Hijikata grumbled, though he didn't really resist when Gintoki guided them to sit down. He sat on Hijikata's lap, facing him with his arms resting on his shoulders. Hijikata had placed a steady hand at the base of Gintoki's spine, holding him in place. The weight didn't feel uncomfortable at all. It always felt like Gintoki slotted perfectly whenever they embraced.

Gintoki bent down to capture his lips again, this time taking his sweet time in exploring Hijikata's mouth. He tipped his head back to give this eager perm easier access, and they easily spent a minute just lazily kissing one another. Hijikata hummed contently into Gintoki's lips as his body sagged against his, finally breaking the streak to rest his head in the crook of his neck.

Gintoki shifted back so he could sit properly on the ground, then pulled Hijikata onto his lap to be held lovingly. Idly, his hand made circles on that tired back, occasionally slipping upwards to toy with the hair sticking to the back of his neck. Judging by the faint sigh, the gesture was appreciated.

The silver haired samurai did plan on giving Hijikata his present tonight. It was a lighter that had the Shinsengumi emblem etched on the front and a mayonnaise bottle on the back courtesy of a salvaged lighter that went through the hands of Gengai. If Hijikata was to smoke outside, he should at least have a cool looking lighter as opposed to a fucking mayonnaise bottle so Gintoki wouldn't suffer from second hand embarrassment when they were together.

But right now, with Hijikata relaxed in his arms, Gintoki figured that could wait until morning. It'd be another surprise for his favorite tax-thief. He'd take any moment where he could surprise Hijikata with displays of affection. It was always endearing seeing him adorably red, but mostly Gintoki just couldn't get enough of the soft look in his eyes upon knowing that he really loves him.

The relaxed slant of his eyebrows, the way his cobalt blue seemingly twinkle with a special kind of light-- he wanted to bring that out as often as he could. It was just one of the many addictions that he had developed in this relationship with his partner.

Gintoki sighed softly, then press a soft kiss on top of Hijikata's head. Stupid mayo breath for making him feel these sort of feelings. Still, Gintoki was forever grateful that this tax-thief was born on this day, and he was able to live long enough to celebrate it.

_Happy Birthday Toshirou._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the fifth of May here so Happy Birthday to our favorite thorny! Hoping I'll be able to write for Gin's birthday like five months from now sobs
> 
> Gin had planned to sneak out but Hiji fell asleep on him and he too dozed off. The next morning Kondou found them snuggling one another on the ground. He decides to cover them with a blanket and let them sleep awhile longer. Sougo took plenty of pictures (Gin complains but he wants a few copies anyway). The Shinsengumi celebrate his birthday during the day, and Gintoki invite him over to the Yorozuya to celebrate with Kagura and Shinpachi. Hijikata gets the lighter, a sword cleaning set and a dozen mayonnaise bottles. Hijikata had a good birthday


	10. Lap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki finds himself trapped for reasons he didn't expect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was suddenly struck with the desire to explore a little of Gin's relationship with the Shinsengumi? Couple with the fact that I can't go to sleep early because the fire alarm at my dorm had tripped again for the past four hours, I thought 'what the hell' and wrote this on my phone. 
> 
> I seriously don't know why my life has just been one trouble after the other but hey, at least I found my stress relief through the form of writing these drabbles. I swear I haven't written this much in so long! Despite the circumstances, it is quite creatively stimulating to be able to write like this! 
> 
> As always, please enjoy!

The door to the room slowly slid open, casting light onto the occupants sitting in the middle of the room. 

"Yo, Souichiro-kun." Gintoki easily greeted to the youth, flashing him his patented lazy grin with an airy wave. 

"It's Sougo, Danna," came the automatic reply, as always when Gintoki purposely screw his name up. There really wasn't any reason for him to do this other than to mess with a fellow sadist. A rather dangerous game to play but life wouldn't be fun without a few risks to keep things interesting.

Gintoki could practically see the gears churning in that kid's head when his gaze flickered from his face to the one sleeping on his lap. "As you can see, Hijikata-kun saw fit that my lap became his pillow and the bastard just parked it right here before he passed out."

"Right. I'm sure he asked for that hand patting his head like the government dog that he is, too," Sougo dryly pointed out. Ah, traitorous hand. Why couldn't it resist the urge? How dare his right hand sold him out at a time like this? 

Deflect an answer with another question. "Aren't you one of the government's dogs too?"

Sougo shrugged. "I'm of a better breed. Hijikata-san is obviously a lowly street mutt that should be put down for being a nuisance to society."

"You really don't pull your punches, do you?" Gintoki heaved out a little sigh, leaning back with his left arm supporting his weight. His right hand, not bothering with subtleties anymore, went back to idly patting Hijikata's head. 

"If I did, I'd long since be dead Danna. You can't be letting your guard down in front of the enemy." Sougo had closed the door behind him before he approached the pair. Gintoki eyed him a little warily.

"Oi oi, we're still talking about your superior, right?"

"I only answer to Kondou-san. One of these days Hijikata-san is going to die by my blade, and I'll be the Vice Chief. Mark my words." Sometimes, it was from how easy he delivered his lines that made them scarier than the actual words were. God damn was Gintoki a tiny bit glad that he was with the Shinsengumi. The world might not survive a fully villainous Souichiro-kun. 

"It's Sougo." Before Gintoki could entertain the kid being a mind reader on top of everything else, Sougo sat down on his left side and promptly laid down, resting his head similar to how Hijikata was. 

"Eh?" Gintoki blinked owlishly for a moment before he slowly looked down. Now he had a mop of black and brown hair on his lap, practically pinning his legs in place. Sougo for the most part seemingly made himself at home, and Gintoki had to stop the urge to squirm when the kid practically  _ nuzzled  _ his thigh.

"Uh, Sousuke-kun, what are you doing?"

"It's Sougo." Gintoki could see that Sougo already had his eyes closed, looking like he was ready to take his afternoon nap. Some kind of primal alarm blared at the back of his mind, screaming  _ danger danger get away  _ in a high pitched tone. 

"Oi, Gin-san's lap is not public property! Go sleep somewhere else!" Because this was uncharted territories, Gintoki kept his hand from slapping Sougo over the head. That kid was  _ dangerously  _ close to important parts, so it would be wise not to provoke the beast when he could jeopardize his future night endeavours. 

"But Danna, you've ruined my afternoon assassination attempt. You have to take responsibility for it." 

"Blame this mayo head for falling asleep then!"

"Wake him up and I'll get up." Fucking hell that was check and mate. This manipulative sadist  _ knew  _ that Gintoki couldn't do that, not when this was the first time in days that Hijikata got some sleep. 

"Careful Sofa-kun, you might just find yourself missing your eyebrows," Gintoki threatened under his breath, glaring at this content looking brat. Sougo didn't answer, merely slipping on his sleep mask before he settled down for that nap. Within minutes, his chest rose and fell steadily, showing that this sadistic brat  _ did  _ fall asleep. 

Gintoki leaned back with both hands supporting his weight, trying to ease the pressure on his lap. How did this happened? What did he do to deserve this today? All he wanted was to skip today's job and crash in Hijikata's air conditioned room for a few hours! Was this karma? For indirectly contributing to global warming!?

He shook a mental fist at the ceiling, then sighed deeply. Gintoki sat up properly and looked down at these two sleeping beauties. He stared at Hijikata through half lidded eyes, considering before he ultimately poke that pale cheek. The only reaction he got was a brief furrow of his eyebrows before they smoothed out. 

“Stupid tax-thief for putting me in this scenario. How dare you still sleep soundly?” His grumblings lacked bite, though. Ultimately, he was glad that his partner could get some rest, and if he was being honest, a little bit pleased that he could sleep so soundly on his lap. Hijikata felt safe and comfortable enough to leave himself prone in Gintoki’s presence, which spoke a lot about the level of trust he had in him. 

Of course it would have been better if Sougo hadn’t exploited this but when his gaze flicker to the sleeping brunette, Gintoki found it difficult to stay mad at him for long. This sadistic brat was only two years older than Shinpachi; still a kid in his battle weary eyes. At his age, Gintoki had left a trail of corpses in his wake, deemed as an enemy by the government and would’ve faced the execution block had it not been for the unexpected kindness of his executioner. 

Obviously Sougo had been too young to be drafted into the war, but had lived through the aftermath. Gintoki couldn’t imagine the sort of life he -- or any of the Shinsengumi, really -- had. His only blood relative had been claimed by an incurable disease, and through his tragically brief acquaintanceship with Mitsuba, knew that she loved  _ them  _ dearly.

Gintoki stared straight ahead, sporting a little bittersweet grin. With that perspective, he practically had two of her most important people sleeping peacefully on his lap, didn't he? The little brother that loved her with all his heart, and the thorny who wanted to love her but chose to sacrifice it so she could find someone better.

His hand found itself gently patting Hijikata’s head again. It was a miracle that he chose to open his heart again after experiencing that kind of lost, especially to this washed up loser. Hijikata was stronger than him in that area, Gintoki privately admitted. Otose had been the first to make him believe again, and even then it took quite some time. Kagura and Shinpachi helped fill in the hole he didn’t realize had existed and then Hijikata came in to complete it. 

Of course, the same could be said for Sougo. Gintoki decided to throw caution to the wind and patted the kid on his head too. He had every right to hate Hijikata, and while the blatant harassment and assassination attempts gave a different impression, Gintoki knew that deep down, he cared for this stupid thorny.

Gintoki supposed that a part of him cared for this brat too. And maybe to that gorilla of a commander, Jimmy-kun and to a lesser but still present extent, the Shinsengumi as a whole. Edo -- and the Yorozuya, Gintoki quietly added -- wouldn't be the same without the hooligan police force. Like it or not, they had went through some tough times together, building this fire forged bond that would last for a long time. 

The silver haired samurai exhaled his deepest sigh yet, and wore his most relaxed smile. He continued with the idle gesture, adding a little affectionate touch by lightly swiping back loose strands of hair from their eyes. Gintoki was in it for the long haul with his association to this band of stooges. There were worse people to choose as allies, at least. 

And to the woman who had loved these two pain in the necks, Gintoki made a silent vow to carry on her torch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I want to write a continuation to this, adding some Gin and Kondou interaction this time. What do you think? 
> 
> Also this is just me wanting to fish around but is there anyone who'd be interested in a fic trade? A one-shot for a one-shot, or maybe a fanart for a one-shot from my end! I'll be on break from mid June to early September, so I'd like to find ways to spend it haha! I've always wanted to participate in these sort of things but I've never found a strong enough interest to actively write for a fandom until I found Gintama! 
> 
> I mean, I can't believe I've written ten different one shots for this series already! It's a personal accomplishment honestly! And definitely, a big motivational factor was seeing the support that all of you had shown to this series! So really, thank you to all the lovely readers that had read, commented, left kudos, bookmarked and just generally showed their support! I really, truly appreciate it! ❤❤❤


	11. Absence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, swamped with six presentations, five reports and the accompanying presentation slides to finish in a week: yeah let's dip for a moment to write something tender and self indulging  
> my brain: you're going to regret that later but hell yeah write it out!
> 
> So here I am with this piece even as I'm approaching the week from hell. I just felt overwhelmed with everything I have to do and complete, thus me typing this chapter up on my phone. The idea from this came from an anime opening, where one of the lines was 'You kissed me gently at the moment I gently dropped my eyelids. Somewhere our glances crossed and there we never got to return back to before' as well as remembering one of kadiaden's awesome Hijigin fanart! I'd link the page if I knew how to but you can check it out at their account!
> 
> I've talked about it in my previous chapters but the past few weeks had been rough on my physical and mental health and really it's writing about these two and my other series that had kept me relatively afloat. Just gotta survive a little while longer before I could write all I want ahhhh
> 
> As always, I hope this would be an enjoyable read!

A mission into space had kept them apart for months but finally Hijikata had returned to earth. It wasn't a particularly tough task but it was the constant knowledge of who he left behind back home while he was thousands of miles away that picked at his mind.

But his diligence and hard work rewarded him with a week off to do what he wanted, and Hijikata knew where he had to be. Still in his uniform, the officer swiftly left the barracks, heading to the one building in Kabukichou that he knew by heart. The stars that he was so close to was now twinkling across a canvas of midnight by the time he arrived at Otose's Snack Bar.

Hijikata kept his steps light as he ascended the stairs, barely able to keep his yearning in check by the time he rapped on the door of Yorozuya Gin-chan. Initially there had been no response but before he could knock again, the light switched on inside followed by faint footsteps and a loud yawn he could perfectly imagine.

Gintoki could have been wearing anything for all Hijikata cared, but the sight of him in his green pajamas, his mussed up hair framing the adorably surprised look was better than expected.

"What? I thought you'd return--" His words were cut off by the sudden kiss, and Gintoki easily melted into it, his longing almost as palpable as Hijikata's. They shared a few more smooches by the front door before Hijikata pulled back with a gentle smile, one hand resting on Gintoki's hip.

"I'm home," was his soft greeting.

"Welcome back," came the fond reply.

After that, things moved like a whirlwind. With Kagura away at Shinpachi's house for the night, they had the place all to themselves. More desperate kisses were shared on their way to Gintoki's bedroom. By the time they flopped onto the futon, most of their clothes had been discarded.

Hijikata had Gintoki on his lap, and they took a moment to just touch whatever and wherever they could, leaving warm imprints that sent a shiver down his spine. It had been so long since he was able to feel physical contact on this level of intimacy, and Hijikata lapped up each and every touch.

Then arms hooked themselves behind his neck before his senses were lit anew with the searing kiss. Hijikata matched the passion behind it, pouring his heart into letting Gintoki know that he had missed him dearly. Judging by the way he kept trying to find purchase from the intensity of it all, he liked to think that he was getting his feelings across.

Gintoki rolled onto his back, pulling Hijikata with him. Having anticipated this move from the growing _need_ behind his grasps, he easily followed the switch, breaking only for a moment for breath before he captured those lips anew.

Hijikata laid his hands on both sides of his head, fingers gently slipping itself perfectly in those soft silver locks. After he paid enough attention to his lips for the time being, one of Hijikata's hand slipped down Gintoki's face, down his neck and came to rest on his bare chest.

That chest with its mapping of scars, faded and new were traced with feather light fingertips, bringing forth a soft mewl into the kiss. Sometimes Gintoki hated the sensation of having his old wounds touched, for each one carried history of hard fought battles and bitter memories of those he failed to protect.

But Hijikata was teaching him that it was alright to hate because there was someone who _loves_ this scarred body with all its imperfections. For every self loathing thought that Gintoki had about it, Hijikata was there to counter with a kiss on each ropy scar and raised bumps, to whisper sweet honey into his ears that he was still one of the most beautiful person Hijikata had laid his eyes on.

They kissed and _kissed_ until Hijikata broke away first, breaths coming out in soft pants, his half lidded gaze drinking in the sight before him. Gintoki with his tousled hair, the light sheen of sweat that gave him an almost ethereal glow, the soft smile on those plump ruby lips and that _tender_ loving look practically stole his breath again.

Hijikata swooped in once more, this time to kiss Gintoki's neck. The skin on his neck was so soft, so sensitive and this was where he could really _breathe_ in Gintoki's unique scent. A faint hint of sweetness, mixed with steel and blood; Hijikata always felt himself unwind when his senses were filled with this achingly familiar smell.

Gintoki's breath hitched and left him in a rush as Hijikata paid special attention there. With a needy little sound, he arched his neck toward him, maroon eyes sliding shut.

"I missed you," Hijikata murmured against his skin. "Gintoki, you don't know how crazy you drive me. You're so beautiful. So _so beautiful_."

He said it with such a sense of worship that Gintoki's breath catches a little as he unconsciously tipped his head back, exposing his vulnerable throat to Hijikata, entirely _trusting_ to what he'd want to do with it.

And Hijikata reciprocated by kissing up his throat, taking a moment to press his lips tenderly against Gintoki's bobbing Adam's apple before he nuzzled the junction where his neck connected to his jaw, all the while his hand gingerly grasped the side of his face, fingers curling into strands of silver.

Gintoki released a breathy laugh, his brows slanting just the slightest bit upwards in quiet delight. Hijikata felt the beautiful sound vibrate in his throat and had to pause simply from how achingly _warm_ his heart felt.

God, Hijikata loved this man. Gintoki caught his attention in a way that no one could replicate. There was just _something_ about him that drew his interest, slowly consuming every fiber of his being until he carved a spot in his heart that will never fade till his dying breath. This stupid perm could drive him up the wall just by being himself, and makes Hijikata want to pin him against the wall just by being himself.

Hijikata liked the arguments and banter that seemingly flowed out of their mouths before their brains could catch up, but he especially _loved_ the moments that showed Gintoki's softer side. His glorious smile when he felt particularly content, his forehead easily pressing against his in glee as he laughed at something Hijikata said, the shine of his silver soul that compelled him to always want to be by his side; it was like being in a dream that he never wanted to wake up from.

But this was reality, and Hijikata fully understood the dangers of their respective lifestyles. Which was why he treasured every precious smile, every blush and laugh, every physical way Gintoki showed his love for this thorny and how much he missed him with all his heart.

Gintoki let loose another breathless laugh, drawing Hijikata back to reality. "Don't know what's so interesting about my throat, but I wanna see something else than the ceiling."

The hands that cupped the sides of his face gently guided him back up, and Hijikata was blessed with the sheer affection glistening within Gintoki's tender gaze and the touch of his thumb gently brushing his cheekbone. "There's my favorite tax-thief."

Something similar to butterfly wings fluttered in his heart. Then Gintoki pulled him close to kiss him sweetly at the moment he gently dropped his eyelids, their hands finding each other's, fingers interlocking in a way that felt unbreakable in this instance.

Once upon a time, somewhere their glances crossed and they never got to return to the time before that single moment. Sakata Gintoki and Hijikata Toshirou had gotten a taste that the other had to offer, and they will never give up on that warmth now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it's time for me to crawl into my hole and cry from the workload. Here's to me surviving and writing more stuff after thing settle down ahhhhhhh


	12. Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, who could resist petting that fluffy perm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes hello I return to this series with this humble piece after crashing for 20 hours. Getting a grand total of twenty two hours of sleep over a period of a week can knock you down I tell ya. Good news is I'm done with my presentation week from hell! Bad news is that finals are around the corner but hey, I get to breathe a bit easier until then. 
> 
> This piece is inspired by a chat I had with kadiaden! Thank you for listening to my rambles of cute moments with these two and inspiring a lot of fluffy feels that I have about them lately ahhhh
> 
> As always, this is a self indulgent piece cause I just want some good ol' fluff to drown in. Hope ya'll enjoy!

One of the normalities that came from their relationship was the unannounced visits. Well, it came more from Gintoki’s end cause the bastard couldn’t bother to call in advance, but Hijikata won’t reduce himself to a liar by saying that it was entirely unwelcome. Coming back from a long day of work to find that stupid perm head lounging in his room like he owned the place?

Hijikata either felt an annoyed sort of resignation, or a desire to give him a toe curling kiss. It depended on his mood, really. Gintoki certainly didn’t complain.

The Shinsengumi barracks often housed this uninvited guest, but that didn’t mean the Yorozuya wouldn’t suddenly find themselves entertaining the Vice Chief too. It just happened far less often than Gintoki’s visits. 

When Gintoki stumbled to the front door, scratching his back with a yawn early one morning, he felt annoyed to be woken up from slumber by the sound of the buzzer and that his young charges were practicing decent habits for once. Without them around, now he  _ had  _ to shimmy out of his comfortable blanket to greet this aggravating client. If they wanted to hire him, why couldn’t it wait until afternoon at least? Gin-san needed his beauty sleep you know!

He’d been prepared to either plaster on a fake smile or tell the person off but ultimately, upon seeing Hijikata standing at the front door, his eyes ended up widening, all traces of sleepiness dissipating. What was he doing here?

“I must still be dreaming. This can’t be Hijikata-kun, can it?” Gintoki tried to pinch his cheek but his hand got gently slapped away. The Vice Chief bit down on his cigarette, then gestured at the reports tucked beneath an arm. 

“Needed a quiet place to work on these. The kids with you?”

“Nope. They’ve decided to be more functional than some adults today. Probably out at Shinpachi’s or something.” Gintoki had his arms crossed, eyeing his partner up and down. “You know that hiding out at the Yorozuya comes with a rental fee. Gotta pay up for this privilege.” 

Gintoki wasn’t being too serious about it, since he understood that occasionally, Hijikata needed to get away from the high stressed environment of the Shinsengumi -- daily assassination attempts really keeps you on your toes, after all -- to a quiet yet familiar area. A place where he could focus without the pressure of maintaining his image. Didn’t mean he won’t try and squeeze something out of--  _ oh. _

Since he didn’t specify the method of payment, this sly bastard decided to pull a doki-doki move by taking out his cigarette long enough to lean forward and plant a kiss on his lips. The mix of smoke and unbrushed teeth tasted awful but it was overpowering in a dizzying sort of way. Suddenly his senses were filled with  _ his _ flavor, completely robbing his attention from anything else but this searing kiss. 

And then Hijikata had the audacity to slip by him in his dazed state, essentially claiming the sofa as his personal space by the time Gintoki recovered. Cheeks a little warm, he didn’t know whether it was from the embarrassment on granting Hijikata easy access, or just this sudden show of affection regardless of the intent. 

Gintoki concluded it was way too early to deal with this shit. He needed at least a shower and a carton of strawberry milk to properly process the fact that he had a companion for the day. 

Was it unexpected? Of course. Did he not want this? Well…

(Alright, he’s going to stop there. Gin-san will not go through a sappy monologue for the entertainment of you readers!)

Gintoki heaved out a sigh, unconsciously rubbing his still reddened cheek. Get that shower first before he decided on anything else.

* * *

 

By the time he went through the fourth report, a sudden weight on his lap made Hijikata looked down. It belatedly occur to him that Gintoki had switched into his usual outfit and that he emitted a faint fruity scent, most likely from his preferred brand of shampoo. He was laying his head on his lap, staring up at him through curled lashes. 

“I wanted to lay down here so you just have to deal with it.” Well, Hijikata had been the one who came here unannounced. Not wanting to waste his time arguing, he simply nodded then getting back to work. Gintoki looked a tiny bit disappointed but he supposed for the time being, leaving Hijikata alone was the best option. The sooner he completed his task, the more time he’d get to have Hijikata-kun all to himself. 

With that in mind, Gintoki picked up the latest edition of Jump and started to quietly read the next chapter of Hunger x Hunger. 

For quite some time, the sound of rustling paper and soft breathing filled the room. It was peaceful and admittedly, Hijikata felt quite content. So it was a natural movement, a mixture of quiet fondness and feeling far too comfortable that led his hand to drop into Gintoki’s hair.

Hijikata didn’t seem to realize it at first, too engrossed in his report and only realizing it when he raised his hand to make a tiny crease at the corner of the paper and then drop his hand back down. At the soft, illegally fluffy touch, he blinked in mild surprise, looking down to see if his unconscious gesture had disturbed his partner, but found that Gintoki was not in the least bit affected by it.

No, it  _ was _ giving an effect. Gintoki looked rather content, rusty red eyes closed and his posture relaxed. The manga he was reading laid idly on the ground, hands now crossed loosely over his stomach. A little sigh escaped his lips, and with a slight shift, he nudged gently against Hijikata’s hand, a silent request for him to perform the action once more.

After a few seconds to weigh his options, Hijikata complied easily enough. When Gintoki looked this at ease, how could he really say no? Not to mention, there was an intimate quality to it, almost vulnerable in nature. This hardened, world weary samurai allowed himself to essentially be defenseless; his throat was laid bare, so very easy to land a decisive strike on if he’d been an enemy. 

But Gintoki knew that he could rest without worry. He trusted Hijikata with his life, and he intended to show this perm head that his trust was not misplaced. 

Hijikata slowly went back to his report, putting half of his focus on the petting – for it could not be called anything else – as he eased back into the cushions. At some point, he ran his fingers through Gintoki’s hair, loosely digging into the permy, poofy mess before he lightly scraped his nails across his scalp. The reaction was instantaneous.

The Vice Chief quite suddenly had the equivalent of a boneless feline in his hands. You know the way cats just go limp and bendy when they were particularly relaxed? Yeah, this was pretty much it. Gintoki tipped his head back into Hijikata’s hand, releasing a blissful sigh. Hijikata privately admitted that it was quite an endearing reaction, so he repeated the motion, pushing his fingers through Gintoki’s thick hair and let the tips of his fingers drag over his scalp. That action earned him a content humming noise that seemed to rumble deep within his partner’s chest.

It was something to file away in his mental file cabinet. Apparently, petting this perm head brought out the feline in him making him no different than a giant lap cat.

As if it was just like any other day, Hijikata went back to reading and dragging his fingers through Gintoki’s hair. Time trickled by, and at some point, he realized that the breathing he’d been half-listening to had gone deep, even and quiet. Hijikata’s hand stilled and he looked down, once again in mild yet fond surprise when he saw that Gintoki was still in the same position but his face was now completely relaxed.

Huh, the guy’s actually asleep. 

Hijikata watched on with a softness to the edges of his eyes and a light tilt at the corner of his lips. Something decidedly  _ warm _ swelled within his heart, filled with nothing but the affection that he had for this sweet freak. Once upon a time, they skirted around one another, not really wanting to break the bond that they had; the stalemate that could pave the way to something terrifying or wonderful.

Now, these two had reached a point where moments like this felt natural, like it was always meant to be. 

Hijikata continued to stare for a little while longer before Gintoki made a low noise. A line appeared between his eyebrows and he nudged his head up again. It was a sleepy little movement since he had stopped running his fingers through those curly silver locks. The petting resumed and Gintoki relaxes once more, nuzzling just a little into Hijikata’s lap.

God, this shouldn’t be this endearing. It was almost lock it away due to its devastating effects on his heart levels of endearing. Hijikata felt like he needed to punch a wall or some shit to recover from this exposure to pure cuteness. 

But he kept his hand in place, eventually returning back to the remaining reports. This time, Hijikata looked less tense as he perused the document and he even unconsciously wore a tiny smile. Even with his attention split like this, focusing felt easier than before. Whether it was the comfortable weight on his lap, the softness beneath his fingertips or the gentle breathing that acted like background noise, all that Hijikata knew was that coming here had been a good decision in the end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pacing feels a little choppy but I hope it's still a decent flow! Also I realized that I started this series about a month ago! Haha time sure flew by! Thank you so much to everyone who's continued to show their support for this! Honestly seeing your comments truly makes my day and inspires me to write more about this pairing! Here's to hoping for more pieces in the future!


	13. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki feels like drowning, unable to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Occasionally I have to return to my h/c roots, and of course my preferred subject is the good ol' perm head. A bit of hc peppered in, a whole lot of self indulgence thrown about until this piece came to life!
> 
> Fun fact: I wrote this at 2 am, eating garlic flavored potato chips with chopsticks to keep my fingers grease free, listening to Pride Revolution on repeat. With such an upbeat song, I'm surprised this didn't turn into something fluffy again haha!
> 
> The descriptions shouldn't be graphic, but a warning nonetheless! As always, I hope you'll enjoy!

Breathe.

An instinctive action for a body with a still beating heart. It happened naturally; breathing didn’t require thought and yet, so many people took this fundamentally simple reaction for granted. The ones who never saw the corpses strewn across a torn battlefield, the sight of comrades that had been alive just moments prior becoming nothing but liquid flesh on the still sizzling ground, the icy realization that everyone was  _ deaddeaddead _ and he remained  _ alive _ \-- Gintoki envied the ones who could just  **breathe** .

He was a part of them, sure. Still breathing, filling his lungs with air to keep this body functioning. But when nighttime rolled along and the demons of his mind seized the bit of control he did have, breathing was the hardest thing to do.

Trapped in the realm between wakefulness and sleep, back laid across a too soft futon in this darkness, Gintoki’s world bled crimson. He smelt the thick scent of copper -- so fresh, so overpowering -- and tasted a mouthful of pennies on a tongue covered in ash. Felt the sting in his eyes, stemmed from the elements and the despair that threatened to make his knees buckle. The squelch beneath his feet sounded loud enough to rival the static like buzz in his ears. 

And then the scenery warped, the red sea replaced by a cliff overlooking the edges of a green forest. Though, his eyes rooted itself on dirty blond, intimately aware yet barely registering the desperate cries behind him. Familiar voices that screamed loud enough for the three of them, because his own remained trapped in his throat, held in place by a promise to the man that raised him with the ways of the sword and the one that he raised his sword to. 

Arm straight, sharp edge faced the way it needed to, lips stretched painfully upwards to show that he wasn't breaking apart at the seams.

(A cry among the roaring frames, barely spotting the extended pinky from bounded hands. A promise. A promise to be kept from now till forever). 

The blade swung downwards and Gintoki bolted upright, gasping for air to fill his lungs and wait for the moment that he could breathe again. Trying to rationalize his safety, that it was all just a vivid dream, counting down the minutes and seconds until the tears would stop and his body ceased itself from the shaking. Praying to whatever deity that didn’t relish in his suffering for Kagura’s continued slumber because she shouldn’t have to deal with his messy emotional baggage. Hating himself for being so fucking  _ weak _ since years had passed and he’d scrape up a decent life to keep chugging along for but these demons _ still  _ suffocated him with fears that’d never really fade. 

These stupid  _ stupid _ fears that left him lost and helplessly  _ afraid-- _

Warm arms encircled him, splayed palms running over his scarred torso in soothing circles and suddenly, Gintoki recalled that he wasn’t alone, not anymore. A soft brush against his pale cheek provided a small distraction from the nightmares he’d witnessed. Then a compliant body straddled his own, the press of a forehead against his, and through the gaps of black bangs that partially covered his hazy vision, he remembered that now, he had someone in his life who  _ understood.  _

An equal who would never looked down on him. A seasoned warrior who went through his own sufferings. A weary soul that knew the darkness and fears that lurked in the shadows. A partner who loves him with all his heart and soul. 

“Hey now. I’m here, Gintoki.” Hijikata’s voice, still rough with sleep acted like a lifeline thrown his way. Something soft brushed against his lips, a sensation so tender that it nearly made him sob. “Look at me. Try and breathe for me, okay?” Calloused yet gentle hands caressed his shoulders, dancing over the scar of their first meeting, sliding down the length of his arms and back up again. All the while, a low hum filled his ears, the familiarity of that deep timber slowly drowning out the demons’ harsh whispers.

Gintoki started to really feel the chest carefully pushed against his, rising and falling evenly to help him regulate his own. Fingertips grazed the back of his neck before they found purchase in his sweat slicked hair, gently running through the dampened locks in a display of comfort. Gintoki used it to ground him to reality, grasping with all his might to keep himself afloat. 

When he could finally open his bloodshot eyes, they were immediately attracted to dark sleepy blues that gazed at him with tender affection. “You’re doing good, love. Just breathe. I’m here with you.” 

The soft encouragement struck a desire for warm contact, so he wrapped his trembling arms around Hijikata’s lithe form, digging his fingers into the folds of his yukata, holding him as close as physically possible. Gintoki put his attention on his partner’s breathing, trying to calm himself from the aftermath that still shook his body. He listened and focused until finally, the rise and fall of his chest matched Hijikata’s. With it, Gintoki could finally  _ breathe _ . 

The feeling of air deep in his aching lungs again sprung fresh tears to his eyes. Gintoki let them flow, too relieved to care. Hijikata tipped his head to kiss the underside of his lashes, entirely soft and adoring.

Gintoki didn’t have to explain anything. Hijikata had witnessed enough nightmares, and had been held in Gintoki’s arms as he shook and fought for breath, trying to free himself from the clutches of his own demons, to understand what he needed. 

Through the best and worst of who they were and what they held deep inside, they continue to love, to comfort, to throw a saving hand before they submerged into the darkness. When they opened their hearts to one another, the bond that emerged from it was as strong as steel and filled with bushido worthy convictions. 

Hijikata won’t let Gintoki drown in his past, and Gintoki gave him respite in his present. Hand in hand, they walked towards the future together.

Now that his heart no longer drummed against his rib cage, Gintoki curled up against Hijikata, tucking his face into that beautiful neck. 

“Thank you Toshirou,” he whispered against his skin, almost like a prayer. 

Hijikata slowly exhaled, giving his hair one last ruffle before he kissed the top of his head. The arms settled around Gintoki, acting like a shield against the world, his answer to the words of gratitude. Slowly, he started to feel warm again,  _ alive _ once more. Gintoki knew that if sleep claimed him later, he’d be assured to wake up next to his loving partner. 

In the calm after the storm, with their minds settled for the time being, both of them could finally breathe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing like some post nightmare comfort to give me that h/c fix. Gin used to suffer through them alone, but not anymore. Likewise to Hiji and the rest of the Yorozuya family, really. I definitely want to explore this topic again, through different angles or perspectives next time! In this household we love and stan this dysfunctional family.


	14. Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki woke up early enough to witness a rare sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest, this is nothing but me indulging in some fanservice. Almost 1500 words of me trying to draw out this concept as much as I can. There's really not much else for me to say but to enjoy the show!

He felt a tug at his consciousness, slowly dragging him back to wakefulness whether he wanted to or not. On his stomach with his face buried into a pillow, Gintoki stretched his legs, toes curling a little before he took notice of how soft the mattress felt. It took him a bit to recall that he wasn’t in his bedroom, and that he hadn’t been alone last night.

Gintoki could have tried to return back to slumber, but the soft padding footsteps tugged at his curiosity. Slowly, rusty red eyes opened, blinking away the gumminess, clearing up to see Hijikata‘s back. The crack of light streaming in from the bathroom gave him a better view; amusingly, he had a towel tucked around his hips, like he actually cared about maintaining his modesty around the only other occupant in the room who, mind you, was thought to be asleep.

Not to mention, they had pretty much seen one another in all their naked glory the night before. While the thought of Hijikata walking around as bare as the day he was born when he wasn’t there to eye fuck him sent a little thrill down his spine, Gintoki had often slept through his morning routine. So now, he was _riveted_ with the show before him.

You’d think that Hijikata was the meticulous type, the sort who kept an order of things in everything that he did cause he was a controlling bastard. People usually start from the bottom and make their way up but Hijikata, this absolute madman, grabbed his white shirt first. Gintoki appreciated the way his back muscles rippled as he slipped an arm into the sleeve, then the other. There was a moment where it seemingly got stuck, caught on his elbows before he flexed his arms forward, letting the fabric settle on his skin.

He didn’t immediately button it up, so Gintoki could only imagine that exposed torso and those toned abs, heaving out a quietly appreciative sigh. It wasn’t fair that Hijikata sustained himself on an eighty percent diet of that fattening condiment but still had a striking figure, whereas if Gintoki indulged in too much sweets, he’d gain a little softness around the hips -- though, it wasn’t _too_ bad since his partner liked a little meat on his bones -- and risked getting diabetes. But the complaints never lasted long since that physique never failed to excite him when it laid beneath his loving touch.

Hijikata tugged his shirt a little to free the small bunch that got caught on the damp skin of his back, then continued his disorderly streak by removing the towel. Gintoki savored the view of those perky cheeks before he stepped into his mayonnaise printed boxers. Ah, such a waste. The perm head took a moment to pray for all the nice asses in the world that had to be ruined by tasteless choice of undergarments, completely unashamed of his own strawberry printed ones. 

Throughout his prayers, Hijikata bent down to pick up the towel, twisting just enough that Gintoki saw Hito-chan and Tarou-kun -- somehow more titillating for being partly obscured. Hijikata never appreciated the names he gave to those pink nubs, calling him a pervert whenever he greeted them upon unbuttoning his shirt. Hmph. He simply wanted to add a more personal touch to their encounters in any way he could. At least he can take solace in the fact that Hijikata shut right up when Gintoki gave his full attention to Hito-chan and Tarou-kun.

The way he buttoned up his shirt wasn’t out of the ordinary, but seeing the way his fingers deftly move certainly had his mind going down the gutter. Hijikata’s hands could never pass for a model’s, given the amount of training he’d put them through and the nicotine stains on his fingers, but they were perfect for holding onto. It fitted perfectly with his, and his mind returned back from its trip south from the sappy warmth that blossomed in his chest. Gintoki was torn between savoring this feeling or continue watching. Curse this mayo head for being able to draw out such emotions within him, seemingly without warning! Gin-san needed a bit of time to prepare! It wasn't good for his heart to feel it flopping about like this!

Unaware, Hijikata continued on, leaving the top button defiantly undone because he was a fashion rebel like that.

Trousers were next. The Shinsengumi outfit was made in a slightly thicker material, partially to withstand the wear and tear that came from their line of work. While it felt pointless after large scale raids or big fights, they didn’t have to spend too much of their funds on replacing uniforms. The colors played a part in that -- black with gold trimmings gave a somewhat regal look, and bloodstains didn’t stand out as much. A pain in the ass to scrub off though, as complained by the Vice Chief himself. Gintoki initially disliked the uniform due to what it signified, but now he had associated it with this thorny -- and by extension, the rest of the Shinsengumi who weren't as bad as he made them out to be. Besides, after having seen how the Mimawarigumi's uniform looked like, he much preferred this black and yellow style. 

Hijikata’s trousers played up his long legs, with this particular pair having grey stitchings down the side seam, serving no real purpose other than to show off the maker's stitching skills. It wasn’t really noticeable but Gintoki still followed it all the way down and back up again, mentally approving the way it hugged it in all the right places. Hijikata left the trousers hang perilously off his hips while he grabbed his belt.

Smoothing his shirt one last time, Hijikata hitched his trousers, zipped it up before doing a quick feel around his waist to make sure the shirt was tucked in nicely. Gintoki liked the little shimmy that he did, swinging those sinful hips in a completely innocent way. It felt like everything Hijikata did had the miraculous ability to look downright sexy, and half the time, that tax-thief didn’t even realize it. Damn him.

After that, he fastened his belt, fingering the buckle for a moment. Gintoki had to stamp down the impulsive urge to reach out and unbuckle it, for no real reason other than because he wanted to. Luckily for Hijikata, he still felt far too comfortable and sleepy to move, lest he’d find himself having to fend off some handsy touches.

After he put on the sleeveless vest, Hijikata perused the items left on the table before he swiped the white linen cloth. Gintoki had long since given up on knowing the correct term for that thing tied around his neck. A cravat? An ascot? Who the fuck cares cause Hijikata looks damn sexy wearing it. His slender, magical fingers deftly tied the cloth till it gained that poofy quality, before he flipped down the collars, running his thumbs underneath to straighten it out. Gintoki strangely pictured a pigeon puffing out his chest, either trying to look intimidating or throwing out the avian equivalent of a booty call.

Finally, Hijikata picked up his jacket. Having swiped that particular article -- or finding it draped over him post nap -- multiple times much to his annoyance, Gintoki knew how it felt underneath his touch. It wasn’t delicate by any means, more functional and practical than stylish. Just like the man wearing the jacket in question, though secretly, he’d give points to his looks. His partner could genuinely rock a lot of styles in Gintoki’s humble opinion, but he suppose at the end of the day, Hijikata-kun in uniform looked the best.

He slipped into the jacket easily enough, giving a little tug to settle it against his body. A final tweak of the collar, a crack of his shoulders and the show ended. Ah, Gintoki wouldn’t have minded a longer viewing but all good things must come to an end. What he did get to see should be enough to fuel his imagination in the future, either in that particular order or in reverse. Hijikata made for good eye candy either way.

The officer turned and took a step towards the bathroom, and then paused, head snapping to the side to stare right at Gintoki. Still sleepy and incapable of deception, though not like he was trying to hide anything in the first place, Gintoki merely winked, lips stretched into a satisfied grin.

“Thank you for the food,” he added, enjoying the way Hijikata seemed to flush, recognition flashing in his eyes.

“Fuckin’ pervert.” With a growl to his tone and weight to his steps, he disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

Now in the darkened room, Gintoki rolled onto his back, his eyes sliding shut. Hijikata might be a little tetchy with him later, but as he slunk back into the world of dreams, images of his partner undressing for him wisped into existence, he can’t bring himself to care. He could always make it up to that devilishly sexy officer later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while I'm still studying for my finals that'll start in a couple of days, so you can see where my priority lies. So yeah, Gin definitely has a thing with uniforms. I blame Hiji for looking good in that uniform and I slightly blame kadiaeden for some parts cause it was mentioned in our rp and I'm just 'hm, let's add that'.


	15. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki makes breakfast for two one morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals may kill me but my love for these two is stronger still. I've really been on a domestic kick lately, though this particular piece was created for a reason! For now, please enjoy the story!

Rising from a dreamless sleep, Gintoki remained in his futon for a few minutes, slowly blinking away the last vestiges of slumber. He didn’t feel particularly well rested but what he did get should suffice. It was far better than a night wrecked by his demons, after all.

With a slow exhale, he quietly shifted onto his side, propping himself up with an elbow to drink in the features of the man next to him. That silly V-shaped bangs slightly tousled from sleep, curled lashes that was envied by many, the peaceful expression that appeared only from rest and their quietly intimate moments -- Hijikata really was beautiful, a sight to behold.

Gintoki genuinely could have remained in bed with his eyes locked on this stunning man but he was starting to become aware of his own hunger. No doubt Hijikata would be the same when he woke up. After a moment of contemplation, he reluctantly disentangled himself from his sleeping beloved, careful not to jostle him before he silently padded out of the room.

It was rare for him to be up before Hijikata; that workaholic’s internal clock usually meant an empty futon by the time Gintoki woke up. Even rarer still was the privacy that they shared within Yorozuya Gin-chan. Kagura and Sadaharu had slept over at Shinpachi’s last night, so the couple had the place all to themselves. A time well spent, in his humble opinion.

Gintoki went to the bathroom to give a quick wash to his face, then backtracked and entered the kitchen. The first thing he checked was the fridge to see what sort of ingredients that they still had. Miraculously, he had enough to make a decent breakfast, and without that black holed stomach on legs around, the leftovers could actually last them for a few more days.

Lips stretched in a small smile, Gintoki secured what he needed, being mindful not to make too much noise. That guy deserved a little lie in if he was tired enough to remain sleeping. Placing the ingredients on the counter, he took the time to slowly wash the vegetables, letting his mind be absorbed in this menial task. It had helped him in the past; washing the dirt off of carrots was preferable than scrubbing his fingers stained with invisible blood.

Next, he went to check the leftover rice in the cooker. Gintoki felt pleased at what he saw; just enough for the two of them, so he could save a bit of rice today. Once he left it on pre-heat, his attention shifted to the miso soup. While he had some instant soup mix on hand, Gintoki wanted to indulge a little. He brought out the small jar of miso paste and dashi, filled a pot with water before adding in the flavorings slowly, letting it all simmer. Some sliced up tofu was added with the green onions thrown in near the end.

While he let the soup bubble away, Gintoki focused on the salmon next. His hands were steady during the grilling process; it was all about eyeing the color of the meat before carefully flipping it over to ensure that it doesn’t overcook. By now, the scent of grilled fish permeated throughout the kitchen, making his stomach growl lowly in hunger. Gintoki was surprised that Hijikata still remained asleep -- or so he had assumed.

The trust that he built with his partner meant that when he felt arms wrapped itself around his waist from behind, Gintoki’s battle honed instincts remained dormant. This was not an enemy he needed to protect his back from. This was a man that he could rely on to watch his back for him.

Gintoki tempered down the urge to smile when he felt a chin tucked over his shoulder, catching that silky black hair from the corner of his eye.

“Good morning sleeping beauty. And here I thought I’d have to drag your ass out of bed,” Gintoki spoke in lieu of greeting. Hijikata mumbled something indistinct.

“Didn’t see you when I woke up. Doing alright?” And he knew that Hijikata’s sleep filled eyes would flicker to the small wooden box near the utensils rack.

“Nothing bad. Stupid body woke me up early, ‘s all.” Gintoki didn’t need the cards inside today -- hadn’t even touch it ever since that tear filled night about a month ago. Hijikata hummed at that, showing his relief through a slight squeeze.

“Need any help?”

“Rice should be heated up. Bowls are in the usual spot, unless Sadaharu got to them again.” Gintoki turned his head just enough to press a kiss on Hijikata’s temple before those arms disappeared. “That’s the only one you’ll get. I don’t want to kiss stinky mayo breath this early in the morning.”

A soft snort. “Pot calling black.” And then they worked in silence, simply communicating through their familiarity with one another. Gintoki had a plate handed to him when he was done with the fish, and Hijikata caught the bottle of mayo thrown at him.

A mug filled with coffee, a glass full of strawberry milk and soon enough, they were seated at the dining table, fully awake now in front of the breakfast spread.

"Itadakimasu." With that quiet prayer, their preferences shone through from what they chose to do first. Hijikata spent a moment just spreading his beloved condiment over his bowl of rice and a bit into his coffee, whereas Gintoki started his meal with a bite of salmon.

"It feels like a wasted effort cooking for you when it's just drowned in dog shit like that." A hint of humor seeped in his tone, which hadn't been unkind to begin with. The ribbing was just a routine that he steadfastly follow when the opportunity arose.

"I need it to make your cooking palatable." Without missing a beat, Hijikata rose an eyebrow, looking thoroughly unimpressed. "And like you're one to talk. You're eating fish with that disgustingly sweet milk."

"Correction, I'm not combining those two, like you and that coffee monstrosity." His nose wrinkled in disgust; salmon and strawberry milkshake sounded like a one way pilgrimage to see the porcelain god.

"You don't have the palate to enjoy this distinguished taste."

"I'd rather lose my sense of taste than, you know, _die_ eating that. I'm still not going to put you in my will, even if you're planning my murder."

Hijikata's voice mimicked a desert's dryness. "Oh, whatever shall I do. I can't imagine what sort of assets that someone who doesn't make enough to pay his taxes would leave behind."

"Like I'd fuel you band of weirdos with your weird fetishes. A streaker gorilla, Prince Mayorin the 13th, sadist from hell, unimportant mob character #5 -- I'm doing Edo a favor by keeping one less of you on the streets."

A small vein popped on his temple. "That's rich coming from you. Now who was it that particularly enjoyed last night? When you had me do--"

"Oi, oi! Since when did Oogushi-kun had such a dirty mouth? We're trying to maintain the T-rating of this drabble series here!" Gintoki looked aghast and a little red faced as his treacherous mind rewinded that exact scene. Curse Hijikata-kun and his devious ways!

That was how they spent the rest of their breakfast, and throughout the clean up, where they argued over the best way on getting rid of that particular tough stain on Hijikata's plate. The banter continued when they went to the supermarket later on, almost in each other's faces as they fought over the best deals to take advantage of.

But the cart was still filled with groceries, it was Hijikata's money that exchanged hands at the register, and the fridge at Yorozuya Gin-chan got replenished, ready for the next time Gintoki cooked for his peace of mind and his loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can say that this is a small sequel to a future one-shot! I'll be slowly writing it whenever I have the time, and I hope to get it done in June hopefully!
> 
> Also! I'm just in awe that this series has almost 100 comments! Throughout my years as a fanfic writer, I've never reached that mark yet! It's all thanks to you lovely readers who kept supporting me throughout it all! I figured that, since I'm going to be on break soon, I wanna do something for this!
> 
> So, to whoever that becomes the 100th reviewer, I'll write a drabble based on their topic of choice, be it fluffy or hurt/comfort! It can be just these two, or it can involve the people around them! 
> 
> And because I'm quite excited for this future one-shot, the first person who can correctly guess which particular scene in this piece that I'll be expanding on as the prequel if you will, I'll also write a drabble for you! 
> 
> Because I'd finally have time and would like to fill it with some creative writing till I hit the 20th drabble, I'll also be choosing one reviewer who ends up making the 90-something comment because it's the year that I was born on! The first person who can guess either the month I was born on or my zodiac sign (because according to my friends, my personality apparently fits it) and the first person to guess which Asian country I'm from will also get a drabble!
> 
> So it'll be two picks and three guesses, making it five drabbles! It's one person per drabble, so if you were the 90-something reviewer and you made the correct guesses, you still only get one and I'll pick the next one who guessed correctly! I'd like to give back a little to those who've supported this series!
> 
> All in all, I thank you once again for sticking with me through this! I've written more in the past month than I have in the last six months, and it truly is because of your support that gave me motivation to express my love for this series!


	16. Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata absolutely loves Gintoki's body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya everyone! I'm finally back from my family vacation! It was fun and all, but ultimately nothing beats the comfort of your own home (and honestly, socializing with relatives you barely knew is Mentally Draining hkfjd) so I'm happy that it's over!
> 
> So, thus begins drabbles based on the topics chosen by the winners! This one is requested by EmpressVegah, who wanted some Hiji showering Gin's body with love! 
> 
> I slowly wrote this over when I didn't want to interact with people, so I hope it's an enjoyable read still haha!

~~~~When the universe aligned just right to allow a night spent together free of work obligations and well meaning yet nosy kids, Gintoki and Hijikata wasted no time in getting themselves rightly intimate with one another. With their clothes thrown to the side and clad only in boxers shorts, Gintoki laid on the futon, currently engaged in some intense lip locking with this officer on top.

After they broke apart to catch their breath, Hijikata didn't wait long to indulge in one of his favorite sensations.

Gintoki's hair was deceptively soft. He did little more than use a cheap brand of strawberry scented shampoo and on occasion some of the conditioner that was gifted to him, but it always seemed to be the kind of downy soft that Hijikata could never achieve with his smooth black hair. He threaded his fingers through it, simply enjoying the feeling, and the bit of tension lining Gintoki's shoulder melted at the touch.

"Gin-san is being all delectable to you and you're focusing up top? For shame." Despite his teasing words, Gintoki didn't particularly hurry him into moving on. In fact, he seemed to be merging with his fingers from how attached his hair was to that magic touch. Hijikata felt the way he nudged into his palm, quietly wanting more attention. He was all too happy to provide it.

Once that silver mop became adorably ruffled, Hijikata shifted his focus to the face framed by these short locks. A strong jaw, perfectly kissable lips, straight nose and finally, those beautiful rusty red eyes that looked amused from his brief observation. They fluttered shut when Hijikata dipped down to steal a feathery light kiss, a taste for what was to come.

The whine that nearly slipped out of him turned into a little gasp at the peppering of smooches, starting from the corner of his lips, down the length of his neck and over his Adam's apple, until they paused right at the curve between his collar bones. Hijikata sucked a little, and Gintoki felt goosebumps erupting all over his arms.

With Hijikata straddling him, he simply had to sit up and rest on his haunches for a full view of this gorgeous man beneath him. Clad only in his strawberry printed boxers, the tasteless choice of underwear didn't retract much from Gintoki's fine physique. The way those planes of muscle rippled and shuddered beneath his loving touch sent thrills down his spine.

Hijikata's half lidded gaze roamed hungrily over this lovely body, trying to decide what he wanted to focus on first.

"C'mon Oogushi-kun, don't keep a guy waiting. Gin-san's blushing from all that attention." Nothing about Gintoki had been different, but it was the slight crease to his eyes when he smiled and the tilt of the head as he looked up with such fondness in them that made Hijikata pause.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are," he uttered, the low timber of his voice almost reverent like. Gintoki's eyes widened slightly, his body involuntarily shivered at that tone.

"What are you talking about? That's fucking sappy even for you, tax thief. Is the world ending? The world is totally ending isn't it? Oh god I'm too much of a shounen protagonist heartthrob to die right now." Hijikata knew well that Gintoki used humor as a shield to deflect, thus avoiding addressing the topic at hand, and this was definitely one of those moments.

"I mean it. You're beautiful, Gin-to-ki." In the face of that seriously genuine tone that drew out his name with that sinful curl to the tongue, Gintoki was powerless to stop the flush that reddened his cheeks.

"Jeez, I'm not a delicate maiden or something like that," he grumbled, gaze flickering away. Hijikata found this response to be rather endearing, and genuinely wanted to see what else he could pull out by going down this route. While Hijikata rarely expressed his views verbally, he already knew how gorgeous his partner was so the compliments fell naturally out of his lips.

"Of course you're not. You've got a strong figure, far from being delicate. Easy on the eyes, nice to feel beneath my hands. I _love_ feeling your beautiful body beneath me." Gintoki's eyes snapped back to him, caught completely by surprise by the words he's hearing. There might have been a twinkle of amusement in those cobalt blues but his gaze spoke no flight of fancy. Hijikata was completely and utterly serious.

Oh god, his cheeks positively _burned_. Gintoki tried to scowl, but his flushed appearance certainly toned down the effect. “Fuckin’ A, now you’re just being-- mmph.”

Hijikata didn’t let him finish. If he truly wanted to take down Gintoki’s walls, he can’t let up his offense on the crack that formed. The breathtaking kiss left them both softly panting by the end of it but Hijikata was already on the move again. He wanted Gintoki to know just how attractive he was, even with all his bumps and blemishes. In fact, Hijikata loved him all the more for it.

Like his hands, for example. Hijikata grabbed one of them, gently turning it this way and that under Gintoki’s reluctantly curious gaze. Rough, calloused, strong hands that both protect and nurture those dear to him. They were warm and slotted perfectly into his, like they were always meant to be. Bringing it to his lips, he placed a kiss on those scarred knuckles, alternating from his right to his left even when Gintoki squirmed under it. Either he’d given up or understood that there was no stopping this. There were no blustering replies, only apple red cheeks and furrowed brows.

Next, he made his way up the length of his arm, leaving a tender kiss on the inside of Gintoki's wrist before his departure. Hijikata's palms splayed over those sturdy shoulders as he gave them a firm knead. His partner let out a shivery little sigh, eyes fluttering shut from the fingers digging into tense muscles and thumbs that loosened knots. Gintoki acted like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and Hijikata _understood_. Looking at this dependable back, one could not stop themselves from placing their future on this silver haired samurai when things seemed hopeless.

Gintoki had a too weary heart from the losses of his past, and too big of a heart that wanted to prevent others from suffering like he had. These shoulders carried them forward nary a word of complaint till he fulfilled them or fell apart trying. Hijikata silently vowed to be an equal that could support him when things got a little too much for this battle hardened warrior. Gintoki need not to suffer alone anymore.

Hijikata then took a step back to properly drink in the sight of this body that he loved so much. His eyes tracked the lines and angles of Gintoki's torso, the smooth planes of his chest, coming to stop at the band of his boxers before drifting back up again. The meticulous manner in which his gaze flickered from one scar to the next, occasionally brushing his thumb along the length of the raised bumps drew out soft gasps.

A crisscross of scars, some faded, some puckered up and all spoke of past battles that he survived. Hijikata never really asked who he fought and what he protected when he received these marks, only show that regardless of the outcome, his heart remained steadfast. The ropy scars, twisting and curling on the map were interesting to explore with his fingers. 

Eventually, he settled on the jagged scar that sliced a clean line down Gintoki's right shoulder. There were many such scars littered on this delicately strong figure, but this one held significance to Hijikata. The scar he gave during their first face to face meeting on that rooftop, back when he only had the Shinsengumi and a select few others to care about.

The first time he crossed swords with a man so much stronger than him; a _samurai_ that held tight to a Bushido in an era where such honor brought scorn rather than respect.

Hijikata studied it for a few more silent seconds before he leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly over the scar, carrying a wordless apology with it. Gintoki never blamed him for it, but he still carried a bit of guilt over inflicting harm to this man he came to love so dearly. Hijikata's breath ghosted over his shoulder, warm and close, and it caused Gintoki to shiver slightly.

"You stupid tease…" Gintoki breathed out, throwing an arm up in a weak attempt to hide the sweet rosy hue that engulfed his face. Hijikata wore a faint smirk before he tilted his head just enough to target the side of Gintoki's neck, one of the _many_ spots that Hijikata discovered over time. He placed a soft kiss against the stuttering jump of the pulse that throbbed beneath his lips, the sudden sharp inhale audible right by his ear.

Now _that_ was being a tease.

Another aspect that Hijikata loved about Gintoki's body were the little areas that pulled out all sorts of delicious reactions. The silverette could be as infuriating as he always was, but the moment Hijikata managed to plant a kiss at this spot on his neck, he became putty in his hands.

It remained an interesting dichotomy to witness. Gintoki could take on injuries that would kill a lesser man and remain upright, but a single kiss to these special spots left him weak kneed. A sight that Hijikata will continue to relish in, for _he_ was the only one who had the map to these little treasures.

Like a struck match, Hijikata's desire to show this man just how breathtakingly beautiful he was burned anew. He started attacking earnestly, directing his attention to all the weak spots he knew by heart. Behind his left ear, just above the collarbone, those pink buds, a spot just above his belly button -- Gintoki stood no chance with this full on frontal assault.

Oh, Gintoki did try to push him away, but the hand that weakly shoved at his shoulder soon clamped on, fingers digging into skin once the sensations became all encompassing. Gintoki could focus only on Hijikata and Hijikata alone; from every kiss and suckle, graze and brush, interspersed with sweet praises on just how beautiful _his_ partner was.

"God, you're just precious. Absolutely precious," Hijikata whispered into his ear after giving the spot behind it some loving attention that left Gintoki mewling. By now, his body trembled from the stimulation, breaths coming out in soft pants. A shaky hand gripped onto Hijikata's upper arm. Lust filled eyes gazed up at him, the scent of arousal heavy in the air. 

"I… I need… I want _you_ please Toshi…"

Well, he supposed he'd enjoyed the appetizer long enough. If that didn't drive into Gintoki's thick head on what Hijikata thought of him…

Gintoki sucked in a stuttering breath at the slight brush to his perky nipples, eyes squeezing shut tightly enough to draw out tears.

He'd just have to try harder during the main course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I want to keep the T rating on this series, gotta stop there unfortunately! This is already a topic that I wanted to write on, so I had fun bringing this to life!
> 
> I still have some exams to tackle, though I'm slowly writing other stuff too! I'd like to update my family series sometime soon, and put more progress in the one-shot. So much to write but so little time and energy for it ahhh
> 
> Until next time! Thank you for your continued support to this series!


	17. Assurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otose and Hijikata shares a moment together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh the combination of being sick and having my laptop in repair really killed the writing muse, but thankfully it came back for me to finish this piece! This one is requested by Amitafi, who wanted some Otose and Hijikata bonding moment! 
> 
> Major thanks to kadiaeden for helping me with this by bouncing dialogue! I swear that pretty much helped things clicked into place that I'm able to write this till the end! I also tried a different writing style to help move things along, so apologies if it seems wonky and all that!
> 
> As always, I hope you'll enjoy!

If she squints her eyes and tilts slightly to the left, Otose thinks she can see a glimpse of her husband in Hijikata.

It goes beyond than their similar build. It's in the way they carry themselves -- silently strong, even with the weight of the world on their shoulders. A sense of duty that dictates their actions, tightly surrounding the self like a plate of armor. Whereas Tatsugorou would regularly be seen smoking his pipe, Hijikata's image won't be complete without a cigarette dangling between his lips. 

Their weapons would point at enemies that dared cross them or those that they consider as precious. A jutte may not be seen as dangerous as an actual sword, but Otose had witnessed how in the hands of those with the will to protect, it was deadly in its own right. And she has the distinct feeling that even unarmed, Hijikata will not let that stop him from being a threat in his own right. 

Heh. Now isn't that perm head lucky to snag a catch like him? 

And maybe, if she first claims senility and is one step away from being declared legally blind, Otose can see a shadow of herself in Gintoki. Standing tall and firm in the face of adversity, never once entertaining the concept of running away. They would never abandon their promises and vows even at the risk of death. Turning a blind eye to one's suffering feels like a personal failure, and they'll do anything in their power to lend a helping hand. 

Otose may never have the pure brute strength to cut down her enemies like the former Shiroyasha, but she has age and experience, patience and connections to still defend what has become home to plenty of misfits. And for all the complaints that Gintoki makes on batty old grannies, he's the first to draw his bokken when she's in danger. 

Either she's self projecting onto these two or it's really like witnessing a young couple of a time long ago, Otose privately admits to a certain sense of fondness. Gintoki is already like a son she always want but will never admit, but Hijikata too is rapidly gaining traction in her weathered heart. 

Anyone who can give happiness to this weary young man that has too much to protect is alright in her books. 

It's a regular afternoon in Otose's Snack Bar. She had Catherine buy some groceries whereas Tama is dutifully sweeping the front porch. Some ruckus earlier made her glance up but it's blissfully quiet now. Must've been out on a job or something. 

She's in the middle of wiping some glasses when the door slides open. Otose assumes that Tama has finished with the cleaning, but the figure that hesitantly steps is most definitely human. 

Hijikata Toshirou makes a quick sweep of the interior, and his expression falls slightly upon the absence of one perm head. Otose knows who he's searching for. This reserved officer is only ever within Edo's sketchiest district for him, after all. 

"Excuse me Otose-san," he finally greets her, body language a little closed. It makes her wonder if they've ever shared a moment together without Gintoki to act as a buffer. Otose hears quite a bit about Hijikata -- sometimes, quite unwillingly -- from drunken tirades and irritated spells, and she mostly considers him as a respectable, if slightly foolish young man for tackling on the (lovable) mess living upstairs. 

"What is it?" She looks up from the glass, regarding him with cool eyes. 

"Um, have you seen Gintoki around perhaps?" Oh, they're openly on a first name basis? Not _Yorozuya_ or _that silver haired nuisance_ that's uttered in various degrees of exasperated fondness. Hijikata may try to hide it behind all that bluster, but during quiet mornings where she's willing her old bones to move, the cracks in her worn room whispers of faint goodbyes and _take care of yourself, tax-thief._

Otose first lights a cigarette, smoke filling her lungs before she exhales. "Can't say for certain. Heard him barreling down the stairs earlier. Maybe he was late for a job or something." 

"Oh, I see."

Another exhale before she lifts a glass as if to beckon Hijikata closer. "Might as well come in. If he's expecting you, that should motivate him to finish whatever he's doing faster." Her lips are thin, eyes surprisingly warm. "First cup's on the house."

Hijikata looks mildly perplexed, certainly caught off guard by the offer. His brows furrowed in that way that Gintoki apparently loves -- "When he's got that scrunched look, means that he's got something on his mind and it's a crime when it's not about me! A crime I say!" -- before he gave a slow nod. 

"I'll accept it. Thank you Otose-san." Hijikata shuffles to one of the counter seats, initially unsure on how to place his arms until he settles with a slight lean. Otose pours him a glass of decent liquor, nothing too expensive but a step above the cheap booze she'd occasionally cater to Gintoki during rough nights. He tips his head in thanks before taking a careful sip. 

Otose goes back to the glasses, picking up the dish cloth to continue wiping. Hijikata quietly nurses his drink, and the way he's sitting now from her angle, glass in hand whilst leaning his weight on one arm, dark hair falling into his eyes -- an image of the past overlaps with the present. She blinks and the moment passed. 

"To think that he'd leave you waiting," she finds herself saying, prompted by a strange eagerness to fill the silence. Hijikata looks up. "That perm head should know better."

He huffs out a laugh, swirling the contents of his drink. "He should, shouldn't he?" A slow, thoughtful sip. "Definitely doesn't though. Truth be told, he's hardly ever on time."

She's far too refined to snort, but the strange huff certainly comes close. "I'm not surprised. He's hardly ever on time to pay rent. One of these days, I'll chuck his ass out on the street. The weather is warm enough that he can experience the joys of homelessness." Otose grumbles in that way where it sounds like she's complaining for the sake of complaining. 

Hijikata's lips quirked up, an air of humor about him. "A valuable lesson to learn. I'll make sure not to take him in when he inevitably comes crawling over and tries to sneak into the barracks. He thinks he can come when it's only convenient, huh?" His voice becomes faint near the end, and he falls silent for a moment. 

"How, um, far behind is he exactly?" Otose raises an eyebrow at that. 

"About three months, give and take. And that's with all the discounts I've given him." Briefly, she recalls the time when she sent Gintoki to deal with Catherine's problem, considering the work a month's worth of rent. Plenty of discounts given indeed. 

"That damn permed head," Hijikata decides after pondering for a moment. Another sip of his drink before he sighs, reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet. Otose simply watches as he places a month's worth of rent on the counter, cheeks pinked from more than just the alcohol. 

"Take this, please."

She puffs out more smoke. "You understand that I'll never tell him about this, lest he'd start feeling relaxed and shirk even more on paying on time."

"Yes. I'm kind of counting on that actually." Hijikata focuses his attention on the glass. "He doesn't need to know."

Otose observes him for a long while, sighing softly a minute later. She sweeps up the money and tucks it into her sleeve. The corners of her lips twitch. "Sometimes I do wonder what you see in that lazy perm. Not a lot of people are willing to put down money for someone else in today's day and age, especially for someone who spends his barely earned cash on vices."

"Sometimes I wonder about that myself," he says, but affection belies his words. Hijikata cocks his head with a tilt of his lips, eyeing her quite disrespectfully, in her humble opinion. "Maybe the same kind of things that let him get away with being a hundred years late on the rent."

 _Very_ disrespectful, Otose decides. Her half lidded gaze pins Hijikata down, smoke curling around her like a snake. "The rent reflects the space. This building is almost as old as I've been alive." Thin lips forms the faintest of smirks. "The walls aren't necessarily thin, you know."

The implication hits him a little late, and Hijikata blinks stupidly for a few seconds before his face _erupts_ into flames. He coughs around the drink, suddenly finding the wood grains worthy of his undivided attention. "Ah, right… of course, we'll, um, keep that in mind." 

Otose finally huffs out a chuckle. An aged woman like her had to find entertainment somewhere. Still, she refills his glass after he knocks it back to keep his mouth occupied. "It's not the first time." The bottle settles on the shelf. With her back turned, Otose allows the cracks to materialize for a moment. "Still, I suppose it's better that he's with someone that he loves. He's been through a lot, that boy."

When she faces him again, he's frowning into his untouched drink. "I've noticed... " Hijikata agrees quietly. The young officer seems to be contemplating. "... you really think he feels that way?"

It's the layer of quiet desperation in his question that piqued Otose's interest more than the vagueness. Her cigarette snipped between her fingers, she gazes at him with a deceptively disinterested air. "You'll have to specify on that."

Hijikata unexpectedly flushes, clearing his throat nervously before he explains with averted eyes. “... L-Love? Do you think that he…?”

Otose finishes the rest in her mind, and falls quiet for a long while, eyes fluttering shut. Just as Hijikata starts to fidget, she cracks open an eye, sharp and steely cool. “Are you ever going to break his heart?”

He’s smart for not answering immediately. Hijikata fully takes in her words, considers them before he sits a little straighter. Those blue eyes met her gaze seriously, and then he answers, tone dripping with conviction. “I can’t account for every outcome… but to the best of my abilities… no I won’t. I swear it.”

Her gaze is weighty, carrying judgement that seems to peel back his soul one layer at a time. Then she blinks, takes a drag before smiling faintly. "He'd answer the same way." There's no need for elaboration.

Hijikata releases a breath, and like he’s freed from some invisible force, tension melts out of his shoulders, lips curling into a small smile. “I see… that’s… that’s good to know. Thank you for telling me.” He sits in the glow of the confirmation, though Otose feels like he, or at least some part of him, knows the answer. 

The bar’s proprietor closes her eyes once more, this time reminiscing on a forgotten yearning. These two clearly held each other dearly, but it appears that cementing this fact remains unsaid. She can’t say if it’s pride or something more complex; only knows of what Terada Ayano unknowingly took for granted until he is no more.

“Make sure to treat that boy right.” she says quietly. There’s a bittersweet look to her eyes when she adds, “And take it from someone who understood a bit too late. Verbal assurances can go a long way.”

“... I will.”

“Good.” She finishes off the rest of her smoke, the stubs it into the ashtray. “He’s fortunate to have someone level headed as you.”

It seems that’s the end of the conversation. The pair settles into a comfortable silence, broken only by the door sliding open hard enough to rattle the frames.

“Ah! There you are!” Gintoki’s loud voice bellows within the bar. “Ah ah ah! And you’re drinking? Without Gin-san? How could you!?”

“Shut up. Whose fault is it for making me wait?” Hijikata shots back, though Otose catches the tug of a smile. He downs the rest of the drink before Gintoki can swipe it. Hopping off of the stool, he displays more manners than Gintoki ever had by sketching a short bow.

“Thank you for the drink and then some, Otose-san.”

“Whaaat? Did the old bag gave you a freebie? That’s not fair! Here Gin-san tried to be a respectable member of society and you’re here knocking back free booze!”

“Unlike you--” Otose interjects with a pointed look. “--he happens to be quite the pleasant company. Now get out of my face. I was enjoying the peace and solitude before your boorish ass came in.”

Gintoki glares back at her, showing a surprising amount of restraint just from keeping his trap shut. Is he trying to keep some form of his nonexistent face in front of Hijikata? Huh, maybe she should invite him for a free drink more often.

Hijikata shoves him to get a move on, pretty much an expert at ignoring his spew of claimed abuse. When they neared the front door, however, he lingers, casting a quicksilver look her way before he yanks Gintoki closer.

“What are you--?” Hijikata whispers something that effectively shuts him up. Seconds later, Otose witness the flush that spreads from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears, an incredibly flustered look overtaking his features.

“W-Wha--? You can’t j-just--! _Toshi--!_ ” Gintoki continues to stammer even as Hijikata grabs his hand and guides them out, once more allowing for silence to settle within Otose’s Snack Bar. 

The old lady behind the counter simply continues to set up, wearing a faint smile through the fond memories of a love that had passed and one that’ll continue to blossom in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiji is good and takes Otose's advice to heart. Gin continues to suffer from mini heart attacks from the continued doki-doki moves. Otose watches fondly as these two dumb men love one another. Everyone else is confused.


	18. Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata despises the wait, most of all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh it's been awhile, hasn't it? Well, to put a long story short, the past two months have been stressful for me, mostly due to a postponed surgery of a family member. I've been helping out around the house to make it easier, and it's only last week that they finally had the surgery. They're slowly recovering and now that I'm not too busy and stressed, I'm finally able to write something out! 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's been reviewing and continue to read this series! I'll get to replying the reviews from like two months ago agdjdkd 
> 
> I'm entering my final semester of uni, where I'll have to write a mini thesis so updates will be sporadic. Still, I'll try my best to continue writing as I've come to love this drabble series! I'll try to update my family one too! 
> 
> To the ones I've yet to write a drabble for, I'll slowly get to it! I'm so sorry for the wait! This piece is based on my experience at the hospital waiting room, so I wanted to get back into the groove of things again!
> 
> Well, I think that's long enough. As always, I hope you'll enjoy this piece!

It's the waiting that rips him apart, one tiny piece at a time. 

Hijikata wishes that his lips are tinged with warmth and ash, lungs filled with smoke that both calms and kills him. It's difficult to keep his fingers from dipping into his pocket but the vague medical scent wafting through the air acts as a stark reminder of his position. 

He can't risk getting kicked out of the hospital, not when he has to pretend like he's got his shit together for the kids. 

Like, he gets that the Yorozuya tend to find themselves caught up in trouble, whether they're the 'accidental' instigators or filling in as the universe's play thing of the week. They can have three peaceful weeks of dog walking and roof repairing before Hijikata spots them engaged in battles against the latest rebel group they've been searching for. 

It's chaotic in the warehouse, all splattered blood and fallen bodies that he steps over. Gintoki carves a path of crimson and carnage, with Kagura throwing around men twice her size and Shinpachi initiating critical strikes that incapacitate anyone who saw him as an easy target. 

Hijikata is equal parts pissed and proud. His beloved bastard will be getting an earful for interfering on official Shinsengumi business. Then he'll get a mouthful (and tongue) of Hijikata that'll fuss over his injuries like an old married couple. It's shaping up to be that kind of evening, but he should have known that life can't be that convenient. 

_ Of course _ his reputation paints a target on his head.  _ Of course _ Hijikata finds himself shoved aside before the blade can slice him from shoulder to hip.  _ Of fucking course  _ Gintoki takes the attack meant for him, and he turns around just in time to see blood splurt from the open wound.

Someone screams, maybe it's Kagura. All he knows is his blade slicing the hand that tries to finish the deed when Gintoki staggers. It's dangerous to be distracted, not when they're still knee deep in enemy territory but he still gets to Gintoki's side. 

Hijikata reels back, as if stung when his supporting grip  is slapped aside. Gintoki turns to him, blood lazily trickling past his fingers and says, through harsh breaths and ruby stained lips, "Later. We still got asses to kick." 

Something hot and fierce claws his insides, duty warring with desire. Hijikata  _ wants  _ Gintoki to get treated ASAP, but he's got a role to play. After a tense second, a hiss slips through clenched teeth. Hijikata rallies his men and charges back into the fray. There’s a rather ferocious edge to the way he fights now. Whoever stands in his path gets mercilessly struck down, the light snuffed from their eyes like a blown out candle. The last image they get to carry on their journey to hell is the Demonic Vice Chief enacting revenge on those who unknowingly injured  _ his _ partner. 

He fights and  _ fights  _ until there's only familiar faces remaining upright -- until  _ he  _ falls. Hijikata recalls with stark clarity the way Gintoki staggers back one step, another and then collapses like a marionette with its strings cut. 

Kagura and Shinpachi races to his side, all frantic yelling and worry etched deep in their features. Hijikata also remembers quite vividly the pool of blood, though he's unsure if it's purely from Gintoki or mixed with all the bodies. He  _ did  _ look goddamn awful when the paramedics whisked him away but he knows that the perm head is a fighter through and through. He's going to survive this. 

When he's wheeled into the OR, Hijikata feels a tiny less confident yet he doesn't let it show. After he's all patched up, he's joined by the kids in the waiting room. The green plastic chairs are murder on his back but it's a whole lot better than wearing the linoleum floors down with all his pacing. 

Besides, Hijikata had his ass parked here whether he wants to or not. Shinpachi occupies his left, mostly scratched up with nothing that some bandages can't fix. He's hunched over, elbows resting atop his knees, twiddling his thumbs while his eyes nervously flicker from the clock, to the lit up sign above the twin doors that Gintoki disappeared into. When their gazes meet, Hijikata tries to flash an assuring smile, even if it feels stiff and awkward. Shinpachi returns it with a tiny smile of his own and he wishes to bring back those bastards just so he can kill them a second time for putting that smile on his lips. 

Kagura situates herself on his right and she's--  _ wrong.  _ As in, it's a bit unsettling to see the vibrant teen so downtrodden. A couple of bandages peek through, a result from some lucky blows but it's there just to satisfy the nurses. Hijikata knows that with her Yato constitution, she'd be right as rain come tomorrow or the day after. Her emotional state, on the other hand, remains uncertain. She has a tight grip on his upper arm, not to the point of cutting off blood circulation but he's not breaking free, that's for damn certain. 

That perm head is in for a serious lecture  _ when  _ he pulls through and on the mend. How dare he make these children so worried for him? Making  _ him  _ feel this uncomfortable pressure in his chest? It's like there's a dagger embedded in his heart, slowly twisting to draw out his  _ pain  _ with each move of the minute hand. 

Once again, he reiterates that it's the waiting that kills him, one second at a time. 

"He's going to be fine," he says when two hours become three and he could sense the growing tension in the room. Shinpachi flicks his eyes towards him and Kagura tightens her grip. Hijikata swallows down a wince, both from the pressure and the shining hope that's thrown his way. They so want to believe it; turning to him as a pillar of strength, as if he could carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

(Is this what Gintoki feels when he looks at the kids?)

Hijikata has a lot on his emotional plate, but for this small group that he privately cares for with all his heart, he's willing to square his shoulders and walk tall. 

"He  _ will  _ be fine," he asserts, gentle yet firm, accompanied by a present hand on Shinpachi's knee and then a comforting pat on Kagura's head. It doesn't quite bleed out the tension in their frames, but Kagura's grip loosens somewhat and Shinpachi sits up a little straighter. 

Hijikata slowly exhales. Looks at the clock, then at the door. Flicks his gaze to the kids. Inhales. 

It's only when the hand inches to the fourth hour that the sign dims. Soft gasps, a scramble to get up without tripping over one another and then Hijikata has to keep them from bowling over the doctor that steps out. 

"How is he?" Is the question of the hour. While he looked weary, there's a small smile that Hijikata takes as assuring. 

"The surgery is a success." And just like that, he's reeling from the relief, vaguely aware of Shinpachi's choked laugh and Kagura's wobbly cheer. 

_ Good.  _ Hijikata exhales slowly once more.  _ You can't go and die yet, you permy bastard.  _

The trio follows after the bed that's wheeled out. Gintoki looks pale, and if not for the slow rise and fall of his chest, he could pass off as one of the bodies that's heading to the morgue. Instead they set him up in a private ward, hooking up the IVs and other machines to monitor his vitals. 

It's getting late, with the doctor suggesting for them to get some rest first. Gintoki will be out at least for the first day or so. His kind advice is promptly rejected, and they made plans to camp out in the room. 

The first day passes by quietly. Hijikata got the kids something to eat, and they brought over card and board games to pass the time with. When they've had their fill of Go Fish, Shinpachi settles by the corner to listen to his Otsuu songs while Kagura idly goes through some magazines, chewing on a sukonbu. Hijikata works on some paperwork that he requested for Yamazaki to send. While he's not at the headquarters, that doesn't mean he'll shirk his duties.

The second day passes by mostly the same way. This time they take turns to return and wash up, grabbing some food on the way back. At the very least, the hot shower helps with the fierce ache of his neck and back. Sleeping overnight on a chair obviously gives such results, but he wants to be by his bedside when he wakes up. 

And he does wake up on the third day. Hijikata had been skimming through a report when he first heard it. A faint shuffling noise, followed by a low throaty sound. Heart rate suddenly spiking, he turns to the bed, watching with bated breath as Gintoki fought his way to consciousness.

Seeing those hazy red eyes again fills him with immeasurable relief. Hijikata puts down the report before it slips out from his suddenly shaky hand. After a moment of indecisiveness, he settles on crossing his arms. Thankfully, the kids are out grabbing food so he's given the time to compose himself.

"It's about time you wake up, Sleeping Beauty," he grumbles, barely any bite to his tone. 

"You look like shit," comes the raspy reply. It's probably from the exhausted gleam to his features. Hijikata can only get sleep in small spurts, at times snagging two hours at best and no sleep at worst. He wanted to be close by, so while he takes quick hot showers, he didn't bother to try and shave, thus the stubble on his chin. 

"Says the guy who went and got surgery to fix his mess of a body." Hijikata helps him take a few sips of water. "You've been asleep for three days."

"Ah." His eyes lazily flicker from one point to the next before settling on Hijikata. "Everyone else… alright?"

He knows what Gintoki is asking about. "Kagura and Shinpachi are fine. Only scratched and bruised. You're the only one laid up like this, you bastard."

Gintoki stares at him for a moment. "You're mad."

Hijikata clenches his teeth. Did he make it so obvious? "You… you got hurt."  _ Because of me _ . "The kids were real worried about you."  _ I was gutted, thinking that you could have died because of me.  _ "Why did you have to go and be stupidly reckless?" _ Why did you take the blow meant for me?  _

It's only when a hand settles weakly on his knee that Hijikata realizes he's mildly shaking. 

"I'm sorry," Gintoki whispers out. 

No, this is  _ wrong.  _ Hijikata is the one who should apologize. Gintoki got hurt because of him. Still, gazing into those quietly strong eyes, Hijikata knows with absolute certainty that his partner doesn't regret it, and will do so again if it keeps him safe. 

(And he knows that had the situation been reversed, he would do the same thing too).

Hijikata  _ should  _ be mad at that, but he deflates, slumping back in his chair with what looks suspiciously like a pout. "Just get better, perm head. You owe us lunch for all the trouble you put us through."

Gintoki looks put out, but there's no mistaking the fond glimmer in his eyes. "Kicking a man down already… that's evil."

But they both know that once Gintoki could move around and return to full health, Hijikata and the kids would sit at the dining table. They'd talk about anything and everything while Gintoki toils away in the kitchen. Then it'd be a free for all, where Hijikata would have to defend his meal whilst trying to squeeze some mayo onto it, arguing back with his partner who claims he's ruining the meal.

They'd be messes and body checks, arguments and laughter. Hijikata looks forward for that day, not too far in the future. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say it's so nice to finally have something completed! I've truly come to miss writing here, so I've requested for a couple of commissions for some title cover art of the series! It's still in development, but I've seen the WIPs and I can't wait to show to all of you!
> 
> That being said, how do people generally showcase them? I know on Fanfiction you can put in cover art, so how do people generally do so on Ao3? If anyone have any advice, I'd appreciate it! 
> 
> As I've mentioned before, I'm happy to be back! Thank you so much for your support thus far! Until next time!


	19. Sleepy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sleepy Hijikata is a docile Hijikata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I got sick during my first week of college, fell into a slump, saw some post on Tumblr about writing and aestheticism, somehow got weirdly motivated and decided to write down a self indulgent piece within three hours as I coughed my lungs out. There's literally no basis for this other than I want some cute Hiji, cause that's what I'm in the mood for lately. A thorny tax thief that's hiding something soft and fluffy inside
> 
> In other news, I finally got my cover image! I hope it's visible on the first chapter! If you want to see the image in higher quality, you can do so [here!](https://skyblxssom.tumblr.com/post/187573305638/gintama-is-one-of-those-series-that-i-never)
> 
> Anyways, I'm crossing my fingers that even with the state I was in when I wrote this, it would still be an enjoyable piece to read!

If Gintoki had to describe today, it’d be a solid _meh_ out of ten. 

Like, _yeah_ he guessed that having a relatively normal day should be something worth celebrating. Given that his life could be sold for one corn chip for the laughs in this thrice damned comedy series, this sort of slow afternoon should be savored even cause you never know when he’d be designated as the episodial butt monkey. 

In his humble opinion, Shinpachi was much better at that role than him but alas, he was but a silver haired protagonist dancing to that Gorilla’s tune. Unlike other silver haired characters, at least he wasn’t dead yet, despite the sheer amount of instances where he _should’ve_ been six feet under. 

But anyway, back to him and his terribly _meh_ day. Since he had no jobs lined up and rereading the same issue of JUMP lost its charm, Gintoki supposed he could see what the rest of the plebs were doing. 

Pinky deep in his ear, he lazily looked around, finding that Edo was enjoying its own peace. People and Amanto were milling about, doing whatever it was that functional adults would do during an explosion free afternoon like this. Gintoki almost wished that something _would_ happen, if only to make this droll of a day pass by faster. 

He had the option of blowing his cash on pachinko but the sight of the dango stall reminded him of the lack of substance in his stomach. A terrible crime as it were, he decided to grab a quick snack before he tried to haggle for an increase on his tab with the owner. 

So there he was, enjoying some sweet dango and tea when he spotted a familiar figure skulking through the crowd. It wasn’t difficult to spot that imposing figure decked in all black. Gintoki grinned around his next bite of dango. Ah, his wallet has arrived.

“Oi~ Oogushi-kun!” Hijikata looked up at that, head turned towards where Gintoki was waving at him all coy like. “Care to join the lovely Gin-san for some dango?” Maybe if he acted all seductive, Hijikata would think less with his brain and be more open to treat him for a free meal.

In hindsight, the docility in which Hijikata approached him should have been a sign that something was off. That thorny never willingly followed anything he said without some sort of retort but Gintoki was too busy eating his dango in a sexy way to notice. 

He paid the price for his ignorance when Hijikata quite literally slump against him, arms around his shoulders and head buried in his chest. The sheer surprise nearly sent Gintoki to his doom when the dango got caught in his throat, and he spent half a minute coughing up the remnants of his sweet treat. 

"W-What are ya doing, bastard!?" Gintoki managed to croak out once the danger of choking via dango had passed. Now that would have been an embarrassing way for a protagonist like him to die. If he were to perish due to sweets, he'd prefer to taste it on the way out, not feel himself suffocating from the plumpness. 

Speaking of suffocation, Hijikata remained quiet, still draped over him like a cigarette scented blanket. At first Gintoki had been pissed and somewhat confused, but now the reality of the situation was slowly sinking in. 

Hijikata, his ornery tax thief who kept PDA to a minimum, was _hugging him in public_. 

Gintoki blinked stupidly for a few seconds before his face rapidly erupted into flames, hands raised by his side.

Eh? Ehhh? **_Ehhhhhhhhh!?_ ** 

_Is this some sort of new doki-doki move? Who knew that Oogushi-kun has the balls to do something like this? Was Gin-san's charm far too powerful? Is this one-shot devolving into 18+ territory!? Author-chan, at least set the mood first…_

Before his thoughts could spiral further down the rabbit hole, a soft snore interrupted his internal monologue. Gintoki stilled, and that was when he really took a moment to see what was going on. His view was blocked by silky black hair, but the pattern of Hijikata’s breathing coupled with the soft puffs of air tickling his collarbone, it didn’t take a genius to reach the correct conclusion.

Wait? Are you serious? Is. Is Hijikata actually _asleep?_

Gintoki tentatively placed his hands on the thorny’s back, giving it a few experimental taps. That earned him a displeased noise, smacking lips and some nuzzling that left him blushing again. 

“Oh my god,” he breathed out, almost in disbelief. _“Oh my god.”_ This was really happening. Gintoki was not trapped in some elaborate daydream. He truly had the Demonic Vice Chief of the Shinsengumi cuddled in his arms because the bastard thought that he was some sort of teddy bear to sleep against. In public.

Just how tired was he that he threw all decorum out the window just for this? Was Hijikata even in the right state of mind when he approached him? Gintoki had a ton of questions, answers that only sleeping beauty over here can answer but this was not the time nor place for them. Now that the shock had passed and realization set in, he became aware of the looks thrown their way.

With a slow exhale, he ran his fingers through his hair, lips quirked downwards. Gintoki didn’t really care about his self image but if word ever got around that the Vice Chief was caught sleeping on the job, well, he just knew it’d come back to bite him in the ass. Hijikata will find one way or another to fly into some self righteous fury, even when he was the one who acted this… this _adorable_.

Gintoki sighed. God damn it, the things he does for his babe. 

Carefully, he managed to unlatch his koala of a thorny, slipping out of his yukata and draping it over his sleeping form as he left him on the bench for a moment. Gintoki pocketed his wallet and pulled out enough bills to pay for his meal, his tab and then some. 

“Don’t think you can use Gin-san’s services for free.” He waved a couple of bills in Hijikata’s general direction, wearing his familiar mischievous grin now. “I could have charged you a lot more but you should be flattered to have a caring boyfriend like me, Hiji-kun~”

A soft snore answered him, and he huffed out a dejected sigh. It wasn’t fun teasing him when he wasn’t awake to give some precious reactions. Well, Gintoki could still lord this incident over him -- and trust him, he will milk this for all its worth -- when he wakes up later.

It took a bit of maneuvering and muffled curses but Gintoki managed to have him on his back with his yukata covering his form. It was a shame that Hijikata wasn’t actually conscious to realize that he was getting some awesome piggyback treatment but oh well. More fun for him later.

Thus, Gintoki began his journey back to the Kabuki district. It’d be asking for too much to pass by unnoticed during daylight but he was immune to their stares and pointing. He faced much worse when he had to scrounge corpses for food, after all.

Soon enough, Otose’s Snack Bar came into view. Gintoki lucked out that his strength managed to hold out throughout the entire walk here. By the time he went up the steps, his arms strained in keeping a solid hold on the dead weight. How exhausted was he that he didn’t even stir even once all this time? 

“You really need to lay off the dog shit, Oogushi-kun. All that fat is going to your hips,” he grumbled once he crested the final step, taking a moment to catch his breath. Gintoki had no choice but to let Hijikata down so he could unlock the front door. This time, he picked him up bridal style as he carried him inside, using his foot to kick the washi shut. 

Aside from a near accident when he tried to kick off his boots, Gintoki successfully deposited his cargo onto the sofa. He plopped down on the other seat, stretching his legs with a heaving sigh. 

“Maybe I should be asking for extra payment. How much would the gorilla pay me for having lugged his precious Vice Chief halfway across town just cause he decided to randomly fall asleep? Hell, if it wasn’t for me, he’d be defenseless somewhere.” Gintoki crossed his arms, muttering to himself all the while. Red eyes flicker to the sleeping Hijikata, who by now was making himself comfortable whilst wrapped around his yukata.

His gaze remained where it was until he slowly approached the vulnerable figure. From this angle, Gintoki could see just how curled his eyelashes were. It wasn’t always obvious since his expression seemed to permanently be in glare mode. When he slept, his usually sharp features became softer, especially around the eyes. The scrunch to his brows were smooth now, accentuating his somewhat boyish looks.

Gintoki’s fingers found themselves buried in those black locks, quietly relishing the smooth sensation as he lightly brush back his bangs. To think that Hijikata had the capability to look like this. He supposed this was an image to enjoy while he still had the chance to. 

Hijikata made this little _mrrr_ noise, then tried to bury his face into the cushions. Hmm, the couch wasn’t too bad to nap on but he’d sleep much more comfortably in some proper bedding. Rubbing his face, Gintoki got to his feet, quietly entering his bedroom to pull out the futon from his closet. They were lucky that Kagura and Sadaharu were out to play with Soyo-hime and that Shinpachi had an Otsuu concert to attend to. That should leave them with some undisturbed nap time. 

Oh, Gintoki was joining in alright. This was a rare opportunity to take a nap with his thorny tax thief. To ensure that there’d be no interruptions, he had sent a quick message to the gorilla of Hijikata’s whereabouts. The last thing he wanted was for his cellphone to blow up from Kondou’s worried calls. After switching it to silent mode, that was when he returned to the living room and carried his sweet babe once again.

Gintoki gently placed him down on the futon. He then considered on Hijikata’s current state. It was probably better for him to sleep out of his stuffy jacket and cravat. He went ahead to unbutton his jacket and vest, then untie the useless piece of cloth.

That was when Gintoki realized their position; practically straddling a defenseless Hijikata who laid his neck bare to him, a hint of chest peeking from the half buttoned shirt with his yukata acting like a lovely backdrop to it all.

Red eyes at half mast, Gintoki set aside the cravat and planted his hands beside Hijikata’s face, gazing down at him. 

“You know Hijikata-kun, you should be more careful,” he purred in the silent room. “Being so defenseless like this… you’re making Gin-san want to eat you _all_ up…” Gintoki dipped down to plant a swift kiss on his lips, silently claiming his precious thorny. 

Hijikata merely smacked his lips in return, murmuring something that suspiciously sounded like his name, still dead to the world.

Gintoki stared at him for awhile longer before he rolled himself off and laid down by his side, looking resigned. He was the one who initiated the move, and yet Hijikata’s surprisingly cute response had him feeling all flustered. 

He threw an arm over his eyes, cheeks tinged red. It seemed that Hijikata’s doki-doki move was more effective than his, or maybe he was just a love sick fool. 

Gintoki turned to his side, observing the way Hijikata gripped his yukata, face buried in its folds. His hand just couldn’t resist cupping his cheek and giving it a light brush with thumb. A soft smile finally made an appearance, his gaze becoming achingly fond.

Now, it was time to settle down for a nice, long nap. Gintoki shuffled closer, practically plastered against his lover before he threw an arm around him. Hijikata merely curled into the new heat source, making his heart flutter once again.

_Ahh Hijikata-kun... one of these days, you're going to give Gin-san a heart attack._

As Gintoki closed his eyes, he noticed that for the first time in a long while, he felt completely at ease with the prospect of sleep. If this became became a more regular occurrence, he supposed that being a prisoner to his heart wasn’t too bad of a thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before the inevitable blackmail and teasing, at least Hiji got some nice sleep with his personal body heater, right? Essentially what happened was guarding Sho-chan can be quite tiring. There is a chapter that I planned on writing on that revolves around this concept, but with Hiji being pulled away for some shenanigans with Gin haha!
> 
> Gin's birthday is coming up soon, so I want to write something for our favorite perm head too! I hope I can find the time and motivation to write something by then!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your support! Until the next chapter! ❤️❤️❤️


	20. Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a regular old day at the beach...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how did this piece came to be? Well, this was supposed to be a romantic fling-esque Summer at the beach, a scene requested by aziciel for the promised drabble. I had this entire scene planned out, but then my monkey brain that's writing this at 1 AM in the morning just veered way off course. 
> 
> There's still the beach, some romance and much Gintama. I hope this is still an acceptable piece! I'm really sorry if this isn't what you expected but I hope that you enjoy this nonsense nonetheless?

Of course there was a catch. There will always  _ be _ some kind of catch. When had Pops ever voluntarily gave them a vacation without some sort of agenda behind it? 

No. Nada. Zilch. On the day he does anything out of the goodness of his heart, that was when he better check his mayo stash for some sort of hallucinogens. The  _ only _ reason that damn Sougo never tried to add it to his arsenal of poisons was because it provided too slow of a death for his liking.

But enough about sadistic brats and the daily assassination attempts on his life. Hijikata knew he should have pushed harder but then again, staring at the barrel of a gun aimed at his head meant that his grievances would most likely be ignored. Pops never gave a damn about their complaints anyway. His word was the law, and he never counted to three when giving them time to consider. 

A man only needs the number one to get through life.  _ Hah. _

Still, there was nothing else that could be done. Hijikata had plans on spending his next couple of days spending time with his BFF Paperwork-san but  _ no _ . He had to be at this stupid beach with his equally stupid subordinates on this stupid “vacation” that Pops forced them on, while “conveniently” looking out for Sho-chan who wanted to experience a fun day at the beach.

Hijikata took a hit of his cigarette and exhaled deeply, casting his weary eyes at the Shogun and his entourage. Of course none of the people here -- and there were a lot of them. Why did everyone decided that today was the day to get shitty tans!? Their very existence offended him greatly -- could know that the Shogun was among them, so his benevolence had to come in disguise.

He resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. Hijikata really hoped the Shinsengumi won’t take the fall when the Shogun discovered that his white briefs and sand rivaled rice and sweet anko beans on the list of horrible combinations. Not one of his men bothered to give the Shogun a warning of the ghastly horrors to come when sand got into places sand shouldn’t be in. 

Cowards.

At the very least, they were proving themselves useful by keeping their ward entertained. Somehow, the Shogun and at least five of the Shinsengumi members were engaged in some fierce sandcastle building competition. There should be something deeply unsettling upon seeing literally the most respected man in Edo dressed in white briefs, a swimming cap and a pair of goggles, wielding a plastic pail and shovel to scoop up sand with utmost care but Hijikata had given away all the fucks he could give at the moment.

Maybe someone should tell the Shogun that the competition was rigged in his favor because no one wanted to beat him for fear of heads getting rolled.

Not him.

Hijikata sighed again, took out his stub and extinguished the smoldering end into the sand. With his foot, he proceeded to bury his hopes and dreams in its sandy graves. Really,  _ why _ was he here again?

Right, because Pops said so and Hijikata needed to play the straight man in order to keep the Shinsengumi in check. Kondou-san, bless this man, was fucking _useless_ right now considering he was one of the competitors, currently busy in building a sand figurine of Shinpachi’s sister. And Sougo--

Wait. Where was that little terror? 

As he had been busy lamenting his woes, Hijikata failed to notice that things were  _ too _ quiet. Very suspicious as there were plenty of opportunities for that brat to mess with him at the beach. Hijikata briefly weighed the options of pretending not to give a damn, but then his conscious won out. He needed to make sure Sougo didn’t do anything too mentally scarring towards the unsuspecting beach goers. 

One easy way to seek out the brat was to follow the trail of destruction, unless he decided to throw him off by taking a nap first beforehand, in which case would make things a step harder than it needed to be. Unluckily for Hijikata, a sudden sand explosion erupted some ways up, sending up a cloud of sand that had people screaming. Bits and pieces of something red also flew out in the confusion, briefly making him tense and wished for the katana he couldn’t bring.

A bit of it splattered on his cheek, liquid like and cold to the touch? Hijikata swiped at it, and upon closer inspection, found out that it wasn’t blood like he feared. It was… watermelon?

“COME BACK HERE YOU STUPID SADIST I’M GOING TO BASH YOUR HEAD IN.”

Hijikata felt something drop to the pit of his stomach. He  _ knew _ that voice.

Why them? Why must they be here at this exact beach on the day they were babysitting the Shogun?

Another explosion of sand and more watermelon pieces flew about, painting the white sands with the gruesome remains. Ignoring the heart wrenching cry of “OTAE-SAN! HOW COULD THE WATERMELON GODS BETRAY ME!?” coming from behind him, Hijikata walked towards the rampage with the same air of a man heading towards the gallows. 

There, the scene was how he expected. Indeed, the perpetrator was none other than a blindfolded Kagura who swung a bat furiously, trying to hit the dodging sadist who obviously cared little about collateral damage. A couple of holes littered the surroundings, a testament on how her strength had the force to change landscapes. 

Off to the side, he could make out a vague lump that was probably human half buried in the sand. Spotting a pair of cracked glasses nearby, that told him the identity of the poor comic relief who got caught in this battle. Hijikata offered a silent prayer for the fallen glasses.

Now, if Kagura and Shinpachi were in the area, where was their beloved bastard of a boss? He doubted that the lazy ass would pass up a chance to snag free beach fare and check out the swimsuit scene. Hijikata ignored the brief flare of something disgustingly hot in his chest at the thought of Gintoki ogling milk jugs and put his focus on this sudden desire to smack him over the head. 

Just like how he got duped into playing babysitter for the Shogun, Hijikata really should have known better than to be within Sougo’s line of sight. Before he could escape, a strong shove from behind forcibly propelled him towards Kagura’s next line up. Hijikata had too much forward momentum to dodge, so the only feasible thing to do was pull up his arms to protect his face, desperately hoping that it could at least guard his head from mimicking the watermelon. 

Something exploded and surprisingly, it wasn’t his arms. Hijikata coughed from the mouthful of sand, reeling from the fact that he didn’t die from that. It took him several seconds to realize he went from being vertical to horizontal, and that the ground felt less sand like and more squishy. 

“God, you need to lay off the mayo, tax thief. All those calories are going to your fat ass alright.” A beat of silence. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

Hijikata’s brain briefly frizzled out from the sheer overload of information it was processing. He didn’t know what was worse: the crude comment, the lovable bastard he was searching for or the fact he was currently held in the arms of said lovable bastard, who looked up at his shocked expression with an amused gleam in his red eyes.

“My my, were you so stunned by the gallant act of saving my sweet Toshi princess from an untimely end? Gin-san thinks this is the time the prince gets a kiss for his effo--ACK!”

Hijikata rolled off of Gintoki after delivering a vicious elbow jab to his side, gasping in deep breaths in an effort to calm his racing heart.

“What the fuck was that!?” Gintoki howled out, all curled up and pressing his hands on the tender spot, glaring daggers at him.

“That’s my line! What the fuck were you doing!?” Hijikata shot back, matching his glare with an icy one of his own. 

“I was saving your life, dipshit. Or did you want to get your head bashed in by her?” Gintoki jutted a thumb over to the Yato spawn, who had forgone the blindfold and bat altogether to engage in some hand to hand combat with their own little hellion. 

While a part of him did hold some gratitude for the save, Hijikata still felt righteous anger towards this troublesome perm head.

“Why are you people here anyway? Tell her to stop before she destroys the beach!”

“Uh, for a job? Not everyone can waste the day loafing around, unlike  _ certain _ tax thieves with V shaped bangs.” Gintoki pushed himself up to a sitting position, spitting out some sand. “And are you kidding me? Gin-san is far too gorgeous to die just yet, thank you very much.”

Hijikata felt a vein mark popped up from the jab to his looks. “Maybe she  _ should _ bash your face in. It’ll probably be an improvement to your ugly mug.” 

“Excuse me!?” Gintoki looked affronted. “Gin-san put a lot of effort to make this face sellable okay? How did you think we’re able to be on the weekly serialization of Shōnen J*mp? If I wasn’t on the cover image of the first manga volume, no one would have picked up this series!”

“I’m pretty sure that plastering a picture of a gorilla on the cover would have been enough! I don’t know how anyone could find that stupid perm and dead fish eyes even remotely attractive!”

“Oi, I don’t want to hear shit from you, Mr I-Got-My-Own-Volume-Cover eight serials in! Even fucking Zura got his own volume cover before you did! Zura and his freaky duck went on sale before you, you squinty eyed bastard!”

“And the supposed poster boy for this damned comedy manga doesn’t even appear more than 20% of the time! It took four years before your dumb face made it on the cover again, and even then it was the Leukocyte King!” 

“He was modeled after me so obviously it counts! And let’s face it mayo brain, this face right here? It’s this series’ lifeblood. Hell, you were never complaining when you kiss Gin-san’s face before!” 

“W-Well,” Hijikata splutters, floundering for something to say until he bolsters right back up, cheeks tinged red. “That’s because we’re fucking dating, stupid! What, you  _ don’t _ want me to kiss that idiotic face of yours?”

Now Gintoki was the one who choked on his words, gaping like a fish for a moment. Then he soldiers on, his cheeks mirroring Hijikata’s. “D-Don’t put words in Gin-san’s mouth! Unless it’s your own mouth, or was it all for show?”

“Ha? From the sounds of it, you want me to kiss you?”

“No, you mayo brain! I’m giving you the chance to kiss me cause it’s obvious that you want to!”

“Well, don’t you want me to?”

Gintoki throws his arms up in frustration. “Yes! Yes I fucking want you to. Do you really want to kiss me, tax thief!?”

“Of course I want to! I’ve been thinking about kissing you since I saw your stupid face!”

“Oh did you now? I knew you couldn’t resist my charms, Oogushi-kun! Gin-san’s face  _ is _ irresistible afte--”

“For the love of--”

And then Gintoki found himself yanked into a searing kiss. He swore he chipped a tooth or something from the impact but he quickly didn’t care as he got pushed to the ground, Hijikata practically straddling him. A probing tongue swiped across his lips, and he granted access, parting to let their tongues mingle and deepening the dizzying flavors. It tasted of sand with a twinge of salt, but it might as well be the tastiest thing on this god forsaken planet at that moment. 

At some point, Hijikata’s hand found his and their fingers linked together. They only breached for air when it became too difficult to ignore. Both men fought to catch their breaths, hair tousled and cheeks splotched with red. Hijikata gazed down at Gintoki, who matched the intense look in his eyes. 

“So…”

“Yeah….”

“...”

“...”

“Ah fuck it. Kiss me again, you beautiful bastard.”

And Hijikata complied, once again capturing those stupid lips on this stupid face that his heart stupidly loved. 

Heh. He supposed that made him the biggest idiot around. 

* * *

With a pained groan, Shinpachi slowly opened his eyes. He blinked slowly, coughing out a bit of sand and some small crustacean that saw his open mouth and thought, "it's free real estate." In his hazy mind, he tried to recall what exactly happened to him. Bits and pieces slowly trickle back in, like the sand that provided some lovely cushioning to his battered body. He remained there for a minute longer before he could no longer ignore the sounds of destruction around him.

Almost warily, he lifted his head, squinting through the blurriness until he could make out some stuff. There were his glasses, cracked up and whisked away in the claws of one curious crab. That was probably Kagura trying to bash Okita-san's head into the boulder that he remembered not being there earlier. And not too far away from him, Gin-san and Hijikata-san were currently occupied by some intense lip locking, either unaware or uncaring of their current position. 

Now these images were the kinds Shinpachi could accept. There were absolutely ridiculous but didn't tip too high in his weird-o'-meter. The image of a sand sculpture that likened his sister too much and had watermelon pieces as her, um, melons? _That_ was too much for his Cherry Boy eyes, and he decided to clock out of reality, at least for ten more minutes. 

Honestly, they should have just accepted the dog walking gig. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I did go look up Gintama cover volumes, and out of the 77 cover images, Gin only appeared in 15 of them while Hiji appears in 6. Gorilla-sensei really drove home how the main character is not just the protagonist but the entire cast, which is a detail I quite like! 
> 
> So with this I've managed to write twenty chapters of this series, which is mind blowing to me. I feel quite proud of myself for being able to write this much! It might not measure up to some of the other great authors out there, but this is a personal accomplishment for me! Now, if only I could put the same amount of energy and muse into continuing my family series ahhhh
> 
> Still, I have to thank all of you for the support that you've shown to this series! I know I've said it a lot, but really without the readers who took the time to read, left kudos, reviewed and such, I don't think I would have had the encouragement to continue writing this far! Sometimes when I'm feeling low on muse, I look back at the previous chapters and read the reviews, which gives me the boost to at least write a little bit at a time! So really, thank you to everyone!
> 
> I don't know if I can give quick updates, but I do know I'll be posting something for Gin's birthday soon! Until the next time!


	21. Scarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki believed he had received one of the greatest gifts of all for his birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh I can't believe it's this perm head's birthday! I've planned on writing something for it but life took some rough turns lately. I'm happy that I managed to get this done still! Hope this would be an enjoyable piece!

“Hah? What do you mean I can’t stay in today?” Dumbfounded, the piece of omelette fell from his chopsticks, getting snatched up by Kagura’s speedy reflexes before it touched the ground.

“It’s just like what Shinpachi said. You’re getting evicted, Gin-chan. All that overdue rent is finally biting your butt. That’s what you get for being a broke loser.”

Before Gintoki could explode at her remark, Shinpachi hastily stepped in. “You’re not getting evicted, Gin-san. What we mean is that we would appreciate if you could step out of the Yorozuya for the day.”

“Why do I need to do that? I’ve got no reason to waste my day away outside when there’s no jobs to do!”

“You’re already being a waste of space here, Gin-chan. Might as well hide the ugly stain for when Anego comes to visit.”

“Kagura-chan!” Shinpachi sounded exasperated, then sighed deeply. “Aneue said that she had some plans for us to do today and needed to use the Yorozuya minus, uh, you.”

Of course that brought up more questions than answers. “Why does she need the Yorozuya? Wouldn’t your dojo have more space if she wants to do something?”

“I really don’t know Gin-san. I was only told to, uh, convince you to be out until evening. You know that when she’s wearing that smile, I can only do as I’m told.”

Gintoki could imagine that smile all too well. Suppressing a shiver, he wasn’t too keen on the idea until he made the mistake of looking at Shinpachi’s pleading look. Knowing that scary woman, she probably had ways to coerce her sweet little Shin-chan into agreeing, probably involving a dinner of that black entity she called an omelette.

“Alright, fine! I know when Gin-san’s not wanted! But don’t let her step into the kitchen or make a mess with the responsible adult out of the picture!”

“Since when were you an adult, let alone a responsible one Gin-chan? Stop deluding yourself. It’s really not cute among old people like you.”

And that was how he spent the rest of their breakfast, trying and failing to match Kagura’s scathing remarks. Gintoki had been in a rather foul mood when he grabbed the plates to go wash up in the kitchen, but then he managed to catch wind of hushed whispers when they thought he was out of sight. 

“So Anego will bring the decorations then?”

“Yes. When Gin-san’s out, I’ll go and buy the ingredients for the cake while you help her decorate the place.”

That certainly caught him by surprise. Decorations? Cake? What were those for? Was today some sort of holiday--

Wait. What was today’s date? Gintoki made a quick glance at the calendar. 

10th October. His birthday.

Ah.

* * *

Dressed in his usual yukata with an extra jacket on top, Gintoki rubbed the back of his neck as he heaved a deep sigh. Considering he was effectively kicked out of his own house until evening, he found himself saddled with a lot of time to kill. Remembering the reason behind this forced eviction warmed his cheeks some; a tiny part of him still felt awed that there were people who genuinely wanted to celebrate his birthday. 

(He didn't think he deserved to celebrate the day of his birth. It felt like an insult to the lives that ended because of him. His existence became the reaper to some, including _him_ \--)

On any other day, Gintoki might entertain his demons because he was a glutton for punishment but with the knowledge of what’s to come, he’d put in effort to maintain his relatively good mood. Knowing those two, Shinpachi would have to keep Kagura from devouring the prepared ingredients for the cake they planned on baking. It was more or less a tradition that on special days, they would dip their hands into the Yorozuya’s limited funds to splurge on stuff they won’t usually get. 

For Kagura’s birthday, they would go to an all you can eat yakiniku place. Shinpachi gets his limited edition Otsuu figures or whatever merchandise that he’d been eyeing on. As for him, well, he’d be happy with a whole cake to eat for himself. 

Gin-san’s a simple man. Just give him sweets and he’d be as happy as Hasegawa when he managed to get a job offer. Granted, having some jobs that paid well would make his wallet very happy, but he’ll take what he can get. Hopefully they’d bake him a whole strawberry shortcake...

Wiping the drool that leaked out from his sugary daydreams, Gintoki remembered the conundrum he was in. What to do until his meeting with strawberry cake-san? He could hit up the pachinko parlor to see if he had birthday luck that can rack up some wins. Maybe even see if Hasegawa was up for a round or two of drinks. Both options definitely appealed the hedonist within him, and he might have gone through with it had he not spotted a familiar uniform amidst the crowd of people.

It looked like a couple of mob characters on patrol, yet their existence reminded him of a particular man in uniform who had the gall to remain silent on this special day. You’d think he’d give him a call or something! As busy as he is, that should be no excuse! Suddenly feeling offended at this slight, Gintoki turned around and made the journey to the Shinsengumi barracks. 

Honestly, why did he needed to put in all this effort on his birthday? Hijikata should have met him on the streets and scramble at the chance to treat him a lovely parfait! Grumbling internally, his slightly darkened expression granted him easy access past the front gates. The men here more or less knew of his relation with their Vice Chief so unless they want to deal with a grumpy superior, they better not ask too many questions. 

“Oh, I didn’t expect you to be here Yorozuya!” A gorilla like voice greeted him, surprise coloring his tone. “What are you doing here? Did Toshi call you over or something?”

Gintoki paused in his self righteous journey to turn around, finding Kondou’s scruffy face smiling at him in a friendly manner. 

“As a matter of fact, he _didn’t._ ” Gintoki stressed the word with a slight degree of petulance creeping into his voice. “He’s been quiet for days now. Not a single phone call or anything! What, did Sofa-kun succeeded in his ‘die Hijikata!’ endeavors or something?”

Kondou’s brows pinched at that, his expression similar to a disgruntled parent being told for the umpteenth time about their child’s mischief. “No, he’s just been busy with work this past week. When he’s not in his office, he’d be away from the barracks. Seems like there’s something on his mind? He won’t divulge anything with me…”

Ignoring the gorilla’s pouting, Gintoki can’t help but latch onto that fact. Hijikata did have a tendency to bottle things up but just like him, he perfected that mask of indifference. If even this oblivious commander can tell that something was bothering him, it must be a pretty serious deal. A tendril of worry slinked into his stomach. 

“Right… uh, thanks for telling me. I can go and like, probe around and see what’s got his panties in a twist,” Gintoki responded in a somewhat distracted tone. Giving a jerky wave, he continued on his way to Hijikata’s office, thoughts swirling on what he should do. His partner can be a lovely yet ornery piece of work. One wrong move and he’d be instantly shut out so if he wanted to approach this, some subtlety was needed. 

That shouldn’t be too hard. He can do subtle.

“So, word on the street is that Hiji-kun has too much dog shit clogging his brain that even the gorilla is worried about,” Gintoki announced the moment he slid open the door. 

From his desk, Hijikata blinked slowly at his sudden appearance, a bit of ash falling from the cigarette between his lips. The brush in hand that was poised over a piece of document left an ink splatter from the seconds that ticked by silently. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Hijikata finally asked once he found his voice.

Gintoki opted to plant himself right next to the raven, who eyed him warily. “You know you can tell me anything, right Hiji-kun? Gin-san’s the best at keeping secrets. Come, pour out all your worries onto my bosom!”

Hijikata pushed off the arm that rested across his shoulders, still sporting that irritated, if somewhat confused look. “I don’t know what sort of sugar high you’re on but if you don’t explain in the next ten seconds, I’m throwing you out.”

Gintoki wiped away an imaginary tear. “You’re so cruel Oogushi-kun! Here I am, offering to be your rock in this trying times and you cast me aside so callously!”

If possible, Hijikata’s glare turned icier. When he saw the hand inching towards his sword, Gintoki frantically waved his hands in a placating manner. “Wait! Hold up! Okay, I’ll tell you! The gorilla said that you looked like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders and he’s worried!”

A cycle of emotions seemingly flitted across those impressive blues before Hijikata pinched the bridge of his nose. It sounded less like an aggravated one and more embarrassed?

“God, I told him there’s nothing to worry about…” Hijikata muttered under his breath. When he looked up again, most of the sharpness seemed to have rounded out. 

“There’s nothing to worry about. I was just… busy with something. Kondou-san was just exaggerating.”

Well, even if it hadn’t been a big deal, Gintoki’s curiosity still nudged him to poke his thorny. “What were you busy with.”

A scowl automatically greeted him, still carrying that tinge of embarrassment. “It’s none of your business, sugar freak.”

“What makes you think that by saying that, I won’t shove my face into it, huh? Gin-san’s real good at that.”

“That’s not something that you should be proud of! I don’t need you snooping around when you’re already being a nuisance to Shinsengumi matters!”

“Oi! That wouldn’t happen if you tax thieves did your job! Or did all that money you steal from people’s hard earned money went to pachinko parlors?”

“First of all, you don’t even pay your goddamn taxes. Secondly, you’re the one who drains your nonexistent cash into those useless things! Finally, why am I wasting my breath arguing with you?”

“Because someone was being a secretive moody pain in the ass that even the gorilla got worried about! Hell, I was concerned for you too jackass!”

Hijikata faltered for a moment, opened his mouth before closing it, looking like he just sucked a lemon. Gintoki watched this odd reaction up until the raven got to his feet and just stomped out of his office. He stared at his retreating back, trying to make sense of what had just happened. 

He ran his fingers through silver locks, feeling a bit frustrated and confused. Gintoki came here with a purpose, mostly to express his righteous anger at having his birthday seemingly forgotten by his lover. Then he wound up becoming concerned for that short tempered thorny, get pulled into an argument before finally being abandoned? 

Like, was Hijikata mad or something? With the way he acted, even he couldn’t tell what went on underneath those V-shaped bangs. Gintoki only came here to knock some sense into his partner, maybe holding onto the hope that there had been a reason for the silence on this particular day...

Gintoki's hands moved before his brain could when he spotted something thrown his way. 

"O-Oi! What the hell was that for!?" He sputtered out, unconsciously gripping the item that Hijikata tossed to his face. "What's this…?"

Looking down, he found that in his hands was a medium sized box. Wrapped in blue wrapping paper and tied with a royal blue ribbon, his heart raced a little faster when he realized what this was. Gintoki looked up to find Hijikata leaning by the doorframe, smoking with his face turned away but the tips of his ears looked suspiciously red. 

"I picked that up from the bargain bin. Figured your cheap ass could find use out of it," Hijikata explained gruffly when the silence stretched on. 

Gintoki blinked stupidly for a moment longer before his brain rebooted itself. With almost jerky movements, he tore off the wrapping paper and opened the lid to find some sort of cloth within the box. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a scarf. 

Not just any scarf, he noted once he pulled it out of the box. Soft blue in color, the texture alone tells him that this was some high quality stuff. This felt more like a scarf you'd buy at a high end clothing store as opposed to the bargain bin Hijikata claimed to purchase from. 

Slowly, he wrapped it around his neck. The warmth settled in nicely, though part of it may have come from the one blossoming in his heart. Gintoki buried his nose into the soft material, giving it a sniff. That new item smell clung to the scarf yet if he focused hard enough, he believed there was a whiff of cigarette to it. 

He could easily picture this tall, awkward looking guy perusing the racks within a clothing store, nicotine stained fingers thumbing the fabric to test its softness. Those weathered yet gentle hands then carefully folded the scarf before placing it in the box. Gintoki had noticed the creased edges and tape lining uneven folds of the wrapping paper. Even steady hands could have a clumsy side to it. 

And the thought that Hijikata actually went through the trouble of gifting him this scarf as a birthday present felt like a sledgehammer to the chest. That rush of breathlessness lasted for several seconds before he took in a gulp of air, exhaling slowly into the fluffiness. 

"The bargain bin, huh?" he murmured, chuckling softly. "This must've been the only decent thing in there. I'm surprised you had the patience to go through all the muck for this gem."

"With all the time I spend with you, I have the patience of a goddamned saint," Hijikata grumbled, still keeping his stare resolutely on the pond outside. That splash of red had yet to recede. 

Gintoki bit his bottom lip to keep his smile in check. Hijikata can be an ornery piece of work but he was just a sweet tsundere at heart. 

"I see. Well, I suppose I can use it for the coming winter months. Kagura-chan had been harping at me for having ratty clothes that smelled like an old man." Granted, that particular remark stung his pride. His hair was silver, not white! Gin-san is still very much in his prime!

"The receipt should be in there if you want to return it or something."

Gintoki can't help but raise a confused eyebrow. No way was he going to return this baby! It might just be the most expensive article in his wardrobe! His gaze flickered to the bottom of the box. Instead of finding a single receipt, there seemed to be a small envelope. 

He picked it up, suddenly feeling that rush again. Could this be a birthday card? Hijikata just didn't seem the type to write out his sentiments. In their relationship, he preferred to show what his intentions were through actions if he struggled with words. Then again, this kind of envelope didn’t look like it could fit a standard birthday card. 

Gintoki carefully tore off the top and peeked in. He saw some slips of paper inside, looking like they could be some sort of coupons. Tipping the contents out, the words printed on it nearly sent his heart soaring. Red eyes misted over from the sheer emotions bubbling within him. 

Oh, Hijikata might just be the sweetest thorny on the planet for gifting him coupons for free parfaits at one of his favorite cafes. They were not exactly coupons issued by the establishment but more of the homemade variety. Simple in design, they simply had ‘Claim one free parfait from me’ written on the surface. 

To think that the Demonic Vice Chief of the Shinsengumi would actually made these coupons. They were handwritten in that familiar style, the ink splattered on some corners but it looked like he put effort into making them similar. Gintoki nearly burst out laughing at imagining his partner bent over his desk, very carefully writing down on these small pieces of paper, an utmost look of concentration on his face.

“I’ll make sure to make a return on them,” he responds, not quite keeping the fondness out of his voice. This precious tsundere of his acting like he didn’t give a damn but these were easily some of the best gifts he’d ever received. Well, he could see one more gift that was the most precious of them all.

Placing the coupons back into the box, he placed it down before unwrapping the scarf. With a little grin, he tiptoed his way over until he threw an arm around Hijikata’s shoulders. That got him an undignified squawk, his tax thief automatically turning to shoot him a glare. 

“What are yo-- h-hey! Stop that!” Gintoki nuzzled against his cheek, all smiles and soft laughter. 

“Woah, you feel so warm~” When he felt Hijikata gearing up for a retort, he swooped in with a peck on the cheek. If possible, he became even redder, the fight seemingly drained out of him. Hijikata rolled the cigarette between his teeth, casting his gaze elsewhere. As fun as it was to tease him, Gintoki did appreciate all the effort he put into this. 

“... thank you for the gifts,” he whispered into his ear, feeling a little bashful when the realization hit him again. Hijikata had gotten him some lovely birthday presents, stuff that fulfilled something that he needs and wants. It showed the level of attention to detail he put into each and every thing he deemed important. In a way, this was a silent way of showing him that this held importance to Hijikata; that Gintoki was _worth_ it to put all this careful consideration into.

“I just didn’t want your kids to get all over my case for not getting you something,” he huffed out, his words juxtaposing how endearingly red he looked right now. Gosh, why can’t he just be honest with his feelings? Then again, this made him all the more adorable in Gintoki’s eyes.

“Right, right. The big bad tax thief just doesn’t want to face their wrath.” Gintoki can’t help but tease. “But I’m pretty sure with these, even Kagura-chan can’t complain about you being a cheapskate. Best be prepared when her birthday rolls around. She’d want something ‘awesome from Toshi too!’” He made a poor attempt at mimicking her voice, getting a soft snort in return.

"Don't worry about that. I'll get her something." The way he replied so earnestly was one of the reasons why he loved this man so much. Underneath all the thorns and rough edges was a heart of gold. When someone managed to gain his affections, you know it's for life. 

Gintoki couldn't resist giving him another smooch on the cheek. Hijikata made a half hearted attempt to swat him off. 

"People can see us, perm head."

"Let them see what a lucky man I am for getting the best gift ever."

Hijikata's brows pinched slightly. "It's just a scarf."

Oh, this thorny totally missed the point. Gintoki picked up the scarf hanging from his arm and proceeded to wrap it around Hijikata's neck. 

"Oi, it's going to stink of smoke!" he protested, trying to keep his cigarette out of reach. Gintoki ignored it all until he tied the ends into a semblance of a bow. 

                                                                                

"It's fine. That'll just be a mark for the greatest gift I've ever gotten."

The sheer sweetness dripping his tone effectively stunned Hijikata into silence, fingers slackening enough for the cigarette to fall. Gintoki tried to keep his own embarrassment in check, choosing to focus on the precious way his partner erupted into flames. He mimicked a broken toy from the way his mouth kept opening and closing until he simply buried half of his face into the scarf. 

“You’re such a fucking sap,” he uttered, muffled and lacking the bite he was probably aiming for. Gintoki bit his inner cheek to prevent the chuckles from escaping. Hijikata looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up so he’d spare him from further teasing. 

“Yeah, but I’m your fucking sap.” A rather crass and corny reply yet he meant each and every word. Gintoki’s heart belonged to Hijikata, and he liked to believe that his partner felt the same way. They complement one another, fitting the empty slots in their souls until they feel full. Whole. _Complete_.

Gently, he placed his hands on Hijikata’s shoulders to lean forward, nudging the scarf down with his chin before finally capturing his prize. His lips felt dry and chapped, tasting of ash and uniquely his own. When arms slid around his waist and the kiss reciprocated, Gintoki allowed himself to be held, eagerly accepting the tongue that seeked access. It was almost dizzying, his senses assaulted with _Hijikata._

Once the need for air became too great, they pulled apart, panting softly with this foreheads pressed together. The slightly chilly fall temperature might as well be nonexistent with how toasty he felt. Hijikata was the one with the scarf and yet, Gintoki was embraced in this cocoon of warmth, like sunshine itself had peeked through the cloudy skies to bless his skin.

“... happy birthday, Gintoki.” Almost inaudible to the ears but resounding loudly in his body and soul, he thinks that maybe, the day of his birth was something worth celebrating after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Gintoki gets back home, he'd pretend like he was surprised by the little party the kids threw for him. There were black matter, soda and a deformed strawberry cake. Shinpachi gifts him a wood polishing set for his bokuto and Kagura got him a bunch of his favorite snacks. Later, he'd be found downstairs with the scarf that smelled faintly of cigarettes, drinking a free glass of booze from Otose.
> 
> Happy Birthday Gintoki! I'm so happy that I got to celebrate this man who made me fall for Gintama! This series has helped me a lot in the past half year, and I'm hoping I'd be able to write something again for his birthday next year!


End file.
